But really, it's more of a thankful anniversary. It's more of a one more chance at life anniversary.
So it's been 1 year and I feel.....FANTASTIC!!!
Like. I never really knew how crappy I actually felt every single day before fantastic. Like I thought feeling like this ended in my early 20s because that was what getting older just...was. I was SO WRONG! I mean, don't get me wrong I'm not skipping around like a flippin teenager anymore (so wish I was though), but I feel good. I have energy, but am working on getting more. I am actually ABLE to lose weight for the first time in 10 years!!! That started 3 months ago if we're being really honest....you'll see how much below. ;) I can assess things without getting too emotional. I'm generally pretty positive...although still way to sarcastic and ornery for my own good but apparently that part doesn't go away when you change your body chemistry and it's just my personality...YA...who KNEW?! I'm WAYYYY more calm most days. We won't talk about the other day when I envisioned my hands around my certain oldest preteen's neck as he was screaming back "no" at me...we just won't go there mmmmkay?! I get to enjoy most days, and I am much more thankful than I ever used to be. I have realized I am stronger than I ever knew, starting with how much I was doing back in Midland with being a VERY busy Photographer, Homeschool mom, etc to now when I wonder how long I'll be able to walk without tiring today. I am much less fearful (thank the good Lord) and am still working through some of my remaining fears. It's scary, you know...being told "there's nothing else we can do, but you still have several few good years left I'm sure" while you're body is failing, you can't stay well, your bones are breaking from dancing in the kitchen with your husband (he still feels guilty about that one), and you can't walk one block without falling over from exhaustion.
God has richly blessed me more than I deserve and I intend to be thankful!
But it's not all cookies and rainbows (Ok, it proly is more cookies than I'd like to admit). I still have things to work out, get better with, etc. My cortisone is still too low. I still have several autoimmune issues possibly due to Addisons Disease but right now nothing is being done. I still have ALOT of weight to lose, a lot of muscle to gain, and energy to get back. There's.....errrrrmmm more issues that start with an H and has to do with sitting....yeahhhh we'll not go there either (my blog, I'll do what I want). I still have Graves Disease and it's still affecting my eyes. I will proly have to have surgery on my eyes to remove some of the swollen muscle behind them that is causing them to push out buggy like. They hurt most days and now I have black spots every day. Not sure why. I have a bleeding ulcer that needs to be seen about...ok so I said I'm more positive, I did NOT say I've learned not to worry. I still have Sleep Apnea (proly due to weight) and have to mess with that hot masky mess (sleep ap peeps..you know what I'm talkin-bout). And I still battle with being tired more than I'd like.
But you know what?! I chose to see the good. I choose to be thankful for everything I HAVE now, and for most of all...the hope. I lost that hope once, I do not intend to lose it again. I am so thankful God gave me another chance and I will not lose sight of that. I have bad days but then I put on my big girl panties and deal...or vent to the nearest friend who's not tired of hearing it...and THEN deal but either way...I deal. So many lessons he's taught me. I'm thankful for being sick, thankful for the healing, thankful for today, and thankful for the Hope.
Ok so for my Thyroid peeps looking to see what it's like and where I'm at....
I am on Synthroid 125mg daily, Cytomel 5mg 4 days a week
I also have to take: Vit C, Vit D 6000 Ius, Iron (always low), Omneprasole, Potassium, Fiber, and Tylenol PM. These are my required...sometimes I'll take others like fish oil or CQ-10, Essential minerals, etc.
Here's my scar
really?! It HAD to be crooked??? ;)
