Ok so I've posted about Charlie Brown having Audio Processing Disorder, and Strabimsic Amblyopia which we did visual therapy for. Also, our disappointment with visual therapy.
Well, in searching for our next option (because we just didn't feel like this was the time to lay down our swords and say "this is it for him") I had been asking around quite a bit about the options in my town. I'm new, I have no clue (hey, that should go on my bumper).
There are just so many options but most only deal with one area (speech, reading, or writing, etc) and cost thousands of dollars. I was thinking about maybe going unconventional with him in the way of school next year. Maybe doing alot of research, increase our fun reading, no workbooks or traditional homeschool curriculum (in the way of grammar and reading, math would still be teaching textbooks) and see where it gets us.
I've seen him regress this year in reading and writing, and even his attention skills.
I don't know if this is because of my lack of teaching abilities or his lack of wanting to pay attention to Mommy rather than that beautiful and oh so sweet teacher he had last year in private school (group homeschool) but whatever the cause I just feel that if we don't get a grasp on it now he's going to continue to have trouble.
In asking around ppl kept recommending this Dylsexia Therapy they'd gone thru with their kiddos. I knew he had some dylexia but didn't know how badly it affected him. Still, we went for an evaluation.
Based on her questions she deemed that he is SEVERELY Dyslexic and needs therapy.
She hasn't really worked with him yet so I reserve that diagnosis until she's seen his work and how his mind works...and also whether it's actually helping him or not. This particular place deals with every area he's having trouble in (reading, writing, comprehension, verbal instructions, etc) and begins in the brain with "defragging it" or getting it to fire correctly in the processing areas. Then, she builds on that.
It's pennies compared to the thousands we would otherwise be trying so we decided it's worth a try.
Beginning next week we start a different kind of therapy. Dyslexia Therapy. I'm learning more about it but it does seem to go right hand in hand with APD.
Praying this helps him become strong in those areas.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Might wanna check your bible....
Ok so I had this idea...and I'm not saying it's the best of ideas but I personally think it's pretty funny. Call it my twisted sense of humor if you will, still once it was in my weird and anti-social brain it had to come out. So bare with me and realize I'm only doing this FOR HUMOR.
**preface/protecting myself from verbal onslaught**
---these things, I've said many of them, thought many of them, and DONE many of them. I am nooooooo better than anyone else by any means!!!! PLUS, this is not to judge anyone NOR am I calling anyone out. It's not my job to judge your salvation nor will I.... your words, however, well some a those can be put up against the bible and lose. Mine can too. So this is funny, yes. But, it's also meant to be thought provoking, of your own accord, to what God calls you to see. And if He doesn't, fine, just have a laugh at the things you think are funny/ironic, and scowl at those you don't. *smiley face*
In pure Jeff Foxworthy style. things that make you go "hmmmm".....
If you've ever....
-started sighing loudly while making referee type signals to the preacher because he's cuttin into your game....you might wanna check your bible.
-used the words "That doesn't sound like a God I would want to serve".....you're obviously thinking more of you and less of Him so.....you might wanna check your bible.
-watched Joel Olsteen online and thought "that made total sense"...you might wanna check your bible.
-gotten up late, wondering if it's ok to wear the same clothes you wore to the bar last night...you might wanna check your bible.
-dropped your kids off at six flags over Jesus, stopped by the local coffee bar, and chatted it up about last night's party all before even sitting in your seat for service...you might wanna check your bible.
-used the words "getting mah Jesus on" on facebook, during sermon/worship...you might wanna check your bible.
-said God gave you the ability to control the weather, yet you didn't check yourself in for accessory to homicide the last time a tornado wiped out an entire town...you might wanna check your bible.
-If the words Doctrine, Theology, Propitiation, and Sovereign all sound like Mandarin...you might wanna check your bible.
-If your churches Music rival's some of the wildest concerts you've ever been too...you might wanna check your bible.
and finally (for now),,,
-If you think following Christ is easy...you might wanna check your bible.
Ok be nice pretty please. I just thought it was funny. :) :) And I laugh in thankfulness at where I've been and how far I've come.
Monday, March 18, 2013
You need to know something
I am SO thankful.
I'm thankful for my Endo that saved my life. I'm thankful for my husband and family. I'm so very thankful for my friends new and old. I'm thankful for this blog and the few brave souls whom read it. I'm even thankful for those that don't because, really, it's my diary.
I am not saying I'm "THERE" yet. But what I can tell you is I am close. For the first time in about 8 years I feel SEMI-NORMAL again. I feel like I'm me again, and I have some energy.
There was a time, many years ago my husband looked at me and said "I miss my wife" because for so long I was so sick and daily felt miserable. No one could tell this as my issues are not visible from the outside. But it affected my attitude. I knew it was and I felt so terribly guilty about it...but had no idea how to change it. I affected him and others around me, and I'm sorry for that. Still, no one knows exactly how bad I felt, exactly how week I was, or how tired with so many other symptoms you couldn't see. *I* didn't even realize how badly I felt to be honest with you. It happened so slowly over so many years that it sort of became my "normal". It's a tricky/sneaky thing these unseen diseases.
But now....Oh Praise the Lord for now. It's like my eyes have been opened or I've transformed from a Caterpillar into a Butterfly. All that pain, tiredness, weariness, etc...I can now be thankful for how I feel. I can now look back and Praise HIM I no longer feel that way (most days).
I am more thankful than ever.
For my new found health - For the health I'm not even aware of yet (that which WILL come once meds are finally stable) - For those who stuck it out with me through all those bad years - For the lessons it's taught me AND my family (my boys are such caretakers now) - For a new chance at this life and living it to the fullest each day - For the lessons He has taught me through those health issues (and there are many).The national symbol for those with Graves and Hashimotos Disease or even those that have had a Thyroidectomy is a Butterfly.
-The thyroid is the shape of a butterfly
-Often before proper treatment you are very sick, and once proper treatment happens you feel SO different, SO much better...as I do already. Therefore they've deemed both stages the Butterfly stages. You were a Caterpillar and now you've blossomed into a beautiful Butterfly. Often physically and mentally.
Did you know.....
That when a Caterpillar enters it's cocoon it goes into a sleep like state that is weary and weak. He shakes at times, and sleeps at others. Once he's ready to come out of the cocoon the fight is on. There is a tiny hole he makes but for some reason he only makes it impossibly small. Then he works and fights to get out of this hole. It's painful. He bleeds. He struggles. He squeezes himself and loses water and weight while trying to escape. Once he escapes he is fragile, his wings are brittle and crooked. BUT, with some time they straighten, dry, and connect. Once this happens he is beautiful and he can fly.
*Interesting Fact*
If you "help" the Butterfly in his struggle by opening the hole where he doesn't have to struggle so much in getting out....he will NEVER be able to fly.It is by God's design that he MUST struggle, bleed, go through that pain IN ORDER that he can fly when God is ready for him too.
Imagine what God must put us through in order for us to fly?!?!?!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Adoption Update
Ok so we are OFFICIALLY certified with the Cherokee Nation Indian Child Welfare.
I am at a point right now that I don't have the most positive experience or things to say. I think all foster parents go through good AND bad, but by the time they tell you any of the bad it's overrun with all the good, either that or it's a horror experience and everyone always warns you of those. I'm here to tell you of neither. So far, for us, it's just been more of a pain in the rear than anything else. And since I don't have my precious kiddos in home to overrun the bad I'ma tell you about it. Why? Not to make the system seem bad, not to complain rather just to let you know what it's like, and to document our experience.
So we have been in certification for FIVE MONTHS. It was supposed to be 3 max. Our social worker quit and when he did he left ALL his families unfinished and in chaos. He had no notes on two of our home studies so we had to redo them. This means we did FIVE home studies.
Our new social worker was great. She was efficient and organized, a complete difference. She got everything together very quickly but then noticed we didn't have our TX background check. So we had to wait another month for that to come in.
It's been ridiculous. One thing after another.
In the meantime I've heard about how great the need is with DHS (Department of Home Services). They have 102 children in shelters sleeping on cots, and so many babies that they are going from emergency home to emergency home every 2 weeks with no security.
So first thing I need to update with is that we have gone from Adoption only to foster to adopt status. I don't expect everyone in our family to be excited or supportive of this decision. After all there are alot of sad stories about fostering, and it IS a risk we've decided to take. We may go through several children before we get one who is adoptable and offered to us for adoption. We may go through the heartache of loving them and having to hand them back to their birth parents knowing it's a much better place in our home. But here's the thing.....it's not their decision to make. It's ours. And this is the one we've chosen, for many reasons.
-We believe it is more giving to offer our home to children in need knowing that we could lose them
-We will have peace knowing we served and loved them while we could, even in heartache should it come
-We know we will get more full disclosure of information on the child's background within the foster system having attended court dates and think this is better for us AND the child in the future. If you can know the truth, you can deal with the truth. If you deal with it you can forgive and find peace.
-We like the option of making sure the child fits well into our family and our family fits well for the child and his/her needs
-We have a better chance of getting a baby or younger child by fostering. It takes quite a bit of time to get parental rights taken away and because of this the children get older. I believe we are at a point to take in a younger child or baby rather than older, although we would like to take in older at some point in our lives...we just aren't there yet.
-Less chance of the child having emotional problems from having been moved from home to home. And since they will be babies they won't have the memory of others that are older.
-Less exposure to my own children.
Etc
Another thing you need to know is that we are thinking of getting dual certification through both ICW and DHS. I have called DHS today to see if we can get information on dual certification and to see what info will transfer or not.
I"m hoping we have our next child soon. I don't even know what to expect next or what happens next. I feel like I'm walking in the dark here.
I am at a point right now that I don't have the most positive experience or things to say. I think all foster parents go through good AND bad, but by the time they tell you any of the bad it's overrun with all the good, either that or it's a horror experience and everyone always warns you of those. I'm here to tell you of neither. So far, for us, it's just been more of a pain in the rear than anything else. And since I don't have my precious kiddos in home to overrun the bad I'ma tell you about it. Why? Not to make the system seem bad, not to complain rather just to let you know what it's like, and to document our experience.
So we have been in certification for FIVE MONTHS. It was supposed to be 3 max. Our social worker quit and when he did he left ALL his families unfinished and in chaos. He had no notes on two of our home studies so we had to redo them. This means we did FIVE home studies.
Our new social worker was great. She was efficient and organized, a complete difference. She got everything together very quickly but then noticed we didn't have our TX background check. So we had to wait another month for that to come in.
It's been ridiculous. One thing after another.
In the meantime I've heard about how great the need is with DHS (Department of Home Services). They have 102 children in shelters sleeping on cots, and so many babies that they are going from emergency home to emergency home every 2 weeks with no security.
So first thing I need to update with is that we have gone from Adoption only to foster to adopt status. I don't expect everyone in our family to be excited or supportive of this decision. After all there are alot of sad stories about fostering, and it IS a risk we've decided to take. We may go through several children before we get one who is adoptable and offered to us for adoption. We may go through the heartache of loving them and having to hand them back to their birth parents knowing it's a much better place in our home. But here's the thing.....it's not their decision to make. It's ours. And this is the one we've chosen, for many reasons.
-We believe it is more giving to offer our home to children in need knowing that we could lose them
-We will have peace knowing we served and loved them while we could, even in heartache should it come
-We know we will get more full disclosure of information on the child's background within the foster system having attended court dates and think this is better for us AND the child in the future. If you can know the truth, you can deal with the truth. If you deal with it you can forgive and find peace.
-We like the option of making sure the child fits well into our family and our family fits well for the child and his/her needs
-We have a better chance of getting a baby or younger child by fostering. It takes quite a bit of time to get parental rights taken away and because of this the children get older. I believe we are at a point to take in a younger child or baby rather than older, although we would like to take in older at some point in our lives...we just aren't there yet.
-Less chance of the child having emotional problems from having been moved from home to home. And since they will be babies they won't have the memory of others that are older.
-Less exposure to my own children.
Etc
Another thing you need to know is that we are thinking of getting dual certification through both ICW and DHS. I have called DHS today to see if we can get information on dual certification and to see what info will transfer or not.
I"m hoping we have our next child soon. I don't even know what to expect next or what happens next. I feel like I'm walking in the dark here.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Whom do you trust when you are ill?
It's time I address this again. For myself and others around me. I've made it no secret that the hardest thing about being in Tulsa is the extreme judgement by the "Word of Faith" movement, and this movement is everywhere up here.
Let me explain.
If you've been reading my blog (really more of a diary) for any length of time you know we have issues. :) I won't deny it. We do. Many are health related...but I'll get to that.
One of the most frustrating things about my health is the question: "how does is relate to my Faith"?
Last fall, in the midst of feeling like there was no hope left for me I realized why I'd been struggling so much with my Faith. It was because I'd been told for so long, and believed that if I just had enough Faith, and prayed enough God would heal me. He wasn't. So where did that leave me? I'll tell you. It left me feeling that I was not saved, I was not His.
So often times I hear ppl saying hurtful things:
"God will heal you if you have Faith"
"God says he will heal you if you pray to Him about it"
"All you have to do is have faith and pray..."
"Our God is a faithful God and he's promised to heal us and only give us good things" (meaning he's only faithful to what we want and if he doesn't give us what we want it's either my fault I don't have enough faith or there's some sort of conflicting that maybe he's not so faithful, or maybe I'm not His).
Bursting out in unrequested prayer "OHHHH FATHER GOD!! We know you want to heal her, please set your hands upon her and heal your daughter, whom you so much love and only want the best for...."
sighhhhhh
But wait! There's MORE!!
"ONLY receive good and perfect healing from God. If you say it, He's given YOU the power to heal yourself. Just BELIEVE!!!"
"It is not God's will for ANY to be sick"
Oh I could go on and on.
These things, these HORRIBLE and oh so wrong statements had me believing I was not God's chosen, that my Faith was too week and I wasn't good enough. Nomatter how hard I tried I couldn't seem to please Him enough to be healed, I kept getting worse.
That. That right there is wrong. It is NOT in my actions that make's God will something.
God is SOVEREIGN! He has not given us any power as man. John 6:65, Matt. 11:2, Eph 2:8 & 9, Jonah 2:9.
I've even had the rebuttal that "our God is not a cruel God and he would not cause anyone to be sick for any reason". Um...... Jonah, Job, King Nebuchadnezzar. David, Elijah, The Philippian slave girl, Ezekiel, Bartimeus, Lazarus, The plagues, Abijah, Zaraphath, Bath-sheba's child, Jacob, Herod, Asa, Daweh, and on and on.
So here's my story in short.
I am broken I say often. Why? Here's the list.
Graves' Disease
Hashimotos Disease
Severe Stomach Ulcer-Bleeding
Thyroid Eye Disease (as result of the Graves)
Iron Deficiency
Vitamin D Deficiency
Serotonin Deficiency
Folic Acid Deficiency
I lost 5 babies before I had my first child (I don't produce progesterone)
Adenoma Tumor on my pituitary gland in my brain
Adrenal Glands aren't working properly
severe Hemorrhoids (wow that was embarrassing to admit)
Allergies galore
No immune system
Asthma
When I was 12 I found out my father had 5 years max to live. He's still alive but due to Emphysema he had a double lung transplant 9 years ago. He's had NUMEROUS issues from dealing with this terminal disease all my life practically.
My eldest son has APD, and visual processing problems as well which puts him in the mildly autistic range (high functioning). He's also very strong willed. Let's not mention the orthodontic problems he has from being addicted to the wrong type of pacifier.
My youngest son has allergies inherited from his parents.
My husband has such severe food allergies that corn will put him into anaphelactic shock. He's been hospitalized numerous times just by being outside in other allergy ranges over a weekend of fun. Let's not mention HIS orthodontic problems from years and years of allergy meds.
And you know what?! I don't know if God gave my life these afflictions because I was either going to be physically unhealthy as I am, or mentally unhealthy as my birth mother is. Or if I needed to be drug through the mud in order to kneel to him because I AM JUST THAT STUBBORN. Or if my husband needed to learn to love unconditionally, even though his wife no longer resembles the woman he married. Or if my children needed to learn how to serve others and have caring hearts because their mother is sick. Or if there's some woman 4 states away dealing with illness who reads this and says "yes, if SHE can do it, I can too....to GOD BE THE GLORY...IN MY JOY AND IN MY PAIN".
The point is, I don't know his reason but God is SOVEREIGN...and, to put it lightly..he doesn't have to share his reason with me. Whether he directly gave me these afflictions, he allowed Satan to afflict me (see Job), or if it was a result by His design in a broken world I live in....whatever the cause...whatever the reason HE IS GOD. I am not.
And honestly.
MY FAITH IS REQUIRED WHETHER
HE HEALS ME OR NOT.
So I go my path, trusting in Him best I can. And I ask you....is God in control of your life...or do you think you are? Who has the power? If you look in the bible and realize I'm right then please. Please for the love of all that is good...stop saying the above things to ppl that are sick or have sick family members. It only hurts and causes doubt.
Want to know more about just how much God is in control? Well, first you should go to your bible but if you need some reference of places to start this is an excellent article.
God's Absolute Sovereignty
Let me explain.
If you've been reading my blog (really more of a diary) for any length of time you know we have issues. :) I won't deny it. We do. Many are health related...but I'll get to that.
One of the most frustrating things about my health is the question: "how does is relate to my Faith"?
Last fall, in the midst of feeling like there was no hope left for me I realized why I'd been struggling so much with my Faith. It was because I'd been told for so long, and believed that if I just had enough Faith, and prayed enough God would heal me. He wasn't. So where did that leave me? I'll tell you. It left me feeling that I was not saved, I was not His.
So often times I hear ppl saying hurtful things:
"God will heal you if you have Faith"
"God says he will heal you if you pray to Him about it"
"All you have to do is have faith and pray..."
"Our God is a faithful God and he's promised to heal us and only give us good things" (meaning he's only faithful to what we want and if he doesn't give us what we want it's either my fault I don't have enough faith or there's some sort of conflicting that maybe he's not so faithful, or maybe I'm not His).
Bursting out in unrequested prayer "OHHHH FATHER GOD!! We know you want to heal her, please set your hands upon her and heal your daughter, whom you so much love and only want the best for...."
sighhhhhh
But wait! There's MORE!!
"ONLY receive good and perfect healing from God. If you say it, He's given YOU the power to heal yourself. Just BELIEVE!!!"
"It is not God's will for ANY to be sick"
Oh I could go on and on.
These things, these HORRIBLE and oh so wrong statements had me believing I was not God's chosen, that my Faith was too week and I wasn't good enough. Nomatter how hard I tried I couldn't seem to please Him enough to be healed, I kept getting worse.
That. That right there is wrong. It is NOT in my actions that make's God will something.
God is SOVEREIGN! He has not given us any power as man. John 6:65, Matt. 11:2, Eph 2:8 & 9, Jonah 2:9.
I've even had the rebuttal that "our God is not a cruel God and he would not cause anyone to be sick for any reason". Um...... Jonah, Job, King Nebuchadnezzar. David, Elijah, The Philippian slave girl, Ezekiel, Bartimeus, Lazarus, The plagues, Abijah, Zaraphath, Bath-sheba's child, Jacob, Herod, Asa, Daweh, and on and on.
So here's my story in short.
I am broken I say often. Why? Here's the list.
Graves' Disease
Hashimotos Disease
Severe Stomach Ulcer-Bleeding
Thyroid Eye Disease (as result of the Graves)
Iron Deficiency
Vitamin D Deficiency
Serotonin Deficiency
Folic Acid Deficiency
I lost 5 babies before I had my first child (I don't produce progesterone)
Adenoma Tumor on my pituitary gland in my brain
Adrenal Glands aren't working properly
severe Hemorrhoids (wow that was embarrassing to admit)
Allergies galore
No immune system
Asthma
When I was 12 I found out my father had 5 years max to live. He's still alive but due to Emphysema he had a double lung transplant 9 years ago. He's had NUMEROUS issues from dealing with this terminal disease all my life practically.
My eldest son has APD, and visual processing problems as well which puts him in the mildly autistic range (high functioning). He's also very strong willed. Let's not mention the orthodontic problems he has from being addicted to the wrong type of pacifier.
My youngest son has allergies inherited from his parents.
My husband has such severe food allergies that corn will put him into anaphelactic shock. He's been hospitalized numerous times just by being outside in other allergy ranges over a weekend of fun. Let's not mention HIS orthodontic problems from years and years of allergy meds.
And you know what?! I don't know if God gave my life these afflictions because I was either going to be physically unhealthy as I am, or mentally unhealthy as my birth mother is. Or if I needed to be drug through the mud in order to kneel to him because I AM JUST THAT STUBBORN. Or if my husband needed to learn to love unconditionally, even though his wife no longer resembles the woman he married. Or if my children needed to learn how to serve others and have caring hearts because their mother is sick. Or if there's some woman 4 states away dealing with illness who reads this and says "yes, if SHE can do it, I can too....to GOD BE THE GLORY...IN MY JOY AND IN MY PAIN".
The point is, I don't know his reason but God is SOVEREIGN...and, to put it lightly..he doesn't have to share his reason with me. Whether he directly gave me these afflictions, he allowed Satan to afflict me (see Job), or if it was a result by His design in a broken world I live in....whatever the cause...whatever the reason HE IS GOD. I am not.
And honestly.
MY FAITH IS REQUIRED WHETHER
HE HEALS ME OR NOT.
So I go my path, trusting in Him best I can. And I ask you....is God in control of your life...or do you think you are? Who has the power? If you look in the bible and realize I'm right then please. Please for the love of all that is good...stop saying the above things to ppl that are sick or have sick family members. It only hurts and causes doubt.
Want to know more about just how much God is in control? Well, first you should go to your bible but if you need some reference of places to start this is an excellent article.
God's Absolute Sovereignty
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