Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Reasons not to help foster children...

So many ppl are worried that if they foster it will negatively affect their family.
We've been actively fostering Firebird for 6 weeks now and I have to tell you, they are right.

We've discovered that fostering makes it extremely difficult to keep my house up in the same manner. I'm too busy healing a broke heart and that takes ALOT of loving/training 24/7. AND I now have to spend more money on clothes for someone else rather than myself.
Vanity

Our budget is now very tight. We have another one in home to buy clothes for, school supplies, entrance into movies and anywhere else you go, extra food, etc. Yes there's a reimbursement but it doesn't cover all your expenses usually, just helps a lil with them. And you don't want to know when it is well probably start receiving that reimbursement!!  Yeah. Proly more like 4 months in before we see any of it the way it looks now. I can't purchase things I want too. I can't have money to myself and I certainly don't get date nights at the moment.
Greed/gluttony

It's REALLY hard to sit around all day while trying to teach 3 children to love each other and how to act/ react appropriately with patience and love.
Sloth

I must listen to talk of another mother when I am the one doing all the work on a daily basis. And I cannot hold grudge or be upset about that. I have to love the mother too, for the sake of the child. And I have to be ok with the fact that no matter how much I adore her all she wants is another.
Envy / pride

I am forced on a daily basis to love someone that has very little love for me in return. Her main focus is her Mama. And some ppl don't even get a lil love because of how broken these kids are. I have to be kind when I'm not getting anything in return. I have to show love when I don't feel like it. I have to hold my tongue when there's plenty I would love to say that's not so nice (not towards the child of course). It's all give give give with these kids. And sacrifice. Oh don't even get me started on the daily sacrifice of the above things.
Grace and love like Christ loved us

That training/loving I spoke of? It really is 24/7. You have a broken child now therefore all your attention is on them, not for safety sake (usually), no, it's because you have to teach proper behavior, give reaffirming words so often you get sick of saying the same thing. Stupid low self esteem, ugh!
Patience

And my BIGGEST struggle is that I'm FORCED to believe that my plan may not be the best plan for this lil life I'm Caring for. I will have to let her go, where I won't know into a life I'm not in control of. After loving and caring for her as my own for so long I have to release in a cruel twist of the plan. And I have to be happy and sad both to be fair.
Faith

It's obvious how this is hurting my family isn't it?! I mean, we're being forced to learn things like giving up: 
Vanity
Greed
Gluttony
Laziness / sloth
Envy
Pride

And beyond all comprehension we're being forced to learn in the most difficult capacity things like: 
Grace
Loving like Christ loved us
Self Sacrifice
Patience
and 
FAITH


Seriously, I don't know why anyone would want to do this thing...this caring for the orphans?! 
"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." James 1:27

"Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute."
Psalms 82:3

"In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35

"To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more." Psalm 10:18


Because it's not about you. 
It's a command from God.


Ok so excuse my weird sense of humor, what can I say?! I'm REALLY good at sarcasm!
I won't lie though, it really IS hard. Like HARD HARD. And it's not for everyone, but everyone can help the orphan in some capacity. And foster parents aren't perfect, or saints. We struggle, daily. Again-HARD. 
Look in your local community and see where you can help. The bottom line of the issues with our foster care system is that the government has taken over the churches problem. And it really is a completely broken system, just like the broken children in it. The system is failing the children, what can you do to help??