Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Why us and the country need more time together

Over the weekend I had the incredible honor to host one of my best friends and her family. They traveled all the way from the desert to see us. We were so excited to see them, and got to spend 4 wonderful days with them. We love their kiddos like our own, seriously (Liz, again, I'm truly sorry we tried to hide and keep Brodee...no really, I regret it this time...)
Ahem, anyway.
5 boys, one house, two sets of parents. Truly. TRULY. It's a miracle my house still stands. The  rambunctiousness, the LOUDness, the crazyness, and oh the tiredness (the parent's of course, the boys apparently killed the energizer bunny and sucked all his juice out JUST for our weekend O' fun). 

When I say this family is outdoorsy I mean OUT. DOOR. SEE. They even want to have a test for their boys future wives in taking her to the river and if she can't hang at the river, she's not meant for their son. ;0) 
But I discovered something about my lil family this weekend. We. Are. Not. 
Nope. Charlie Brown shivers everytime he sees a bug. Kung Fu Roo screams like a girl when a spider is mentioned. And Momma apparently does a dance not-so-much like the twist trying to get those lil black pesky bugs off me at the lake. THE WHOLE TIME. 
I tried calming down. I tried being still and not worrying about them. But then someone would mention them and there I'd go again. Charlie had given up playing around the lake and gone and climbed into a hot car just to escape those critters and was patiently waiting us to give up on BBQing, and it's a miracle my husband didn't hit himself in the head with the BBQ spatula trying to swat them. 
So, my sweet friends starting packing up. They knew it was hopeless. We really should spend more time outdoors getting to know nature. But seriously, WHERE did all these bites come from???!!!! I've got calamine from head to toe!

I guess it's a good thing I don't have a girl or I'd NEVER have a chance getting her into that family. 


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A call to action-Social Media

There are some days when I'll talk about God and the things we are called too. These days will most likely be serious days, but they are so important so stick with me. Through the serious AND the funny and you just might learn something about me, the overcoming Momma. 


Too many times we, as Christians, talk the talk. But, do we really walk the walk? 


Our family has been convicted in the past few years to watch what our eyes see and ears hear. 
Luke 11:34 The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness.
Job 31:1 I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?
1 Corinthians 10:31 Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God


And it really hit us the verses about God's name and how sovereign HIS name/HE is. 
Exodus 20:7 You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold guiltless anyone who takes his name in vain. 
DEUT 5:11 You must not make use of the name of the Lord your God for worthless purposes, for the Lord will not exonerate anyone who abuses his name that way.


His name is:
     Salvation
(1) Salvation is through His name (John 1:12).
Believing
(2) Believers are to gather in His name (Matt. 18:20).
Prayer
(3) Prayer is to be made in His name (John 14:13-14).
Serving
(4) The servant of the Lord who bears the name of Christ will be hated (Matt. 10:22).
Worship
(5) The book of Acts makes frequent mention of worship, service, and suffering in the name of Jesus Christ (Acts 4:18; 5:28, 41; 10:43; 19:17).
Confession
(6) It is at the name of Jesus that every knee will one day bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord (Phil. 2:10-11).


Therefore we decided that we would not watch movies that profained his name. We just do not feel like that is OK being that we are supposed to be serving this amazing and wonderful God of all creation and yet taking his name lightly, or in vain. 
It makes our available movie list much less, I admit. And sometimes it is frustrating not being able to watch these movies that everyone else loves and is raving about. Me being a movie junky from birth makes it even more difficult. Did you know that my all time FAVORITE movie ever is Splash?! I was watching it and pretending I was a mermaid in my neighbor's pool at FOUR YEARS OLD. But you know what? I cannot watch it, and that makes me sad that there has to be vulgar language in a good movie. 
But, you know what?! He didn't say it was going to be easy when it came to dealing with worldy matters 
John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace. In the world you shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
AND, he didn't say we could act like the world either. 
Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

So, just for those that will be offended at this post let me point a few things out. Does the fact that we do not watch movies with a "GD" in them make us better than you? No. It doesn't. 
Do we think we are higher in HIS calling or doing things right? I can assure you we are not in everything we do. So many things we struggle with and sin in. 

This is just a conviction for US, that we feel necessary to maintain HIS HOLY name in only reverence and not non-challantly. 

But I will take it one step further and risk some people getting upset in this way. 
I CHALLENGE YOU. 
I challenge you to look at what the WORD has to say about it, and I challenge you to pray about whether you should also take out those movies in your family. Just try it, see if your ears get a little more sensitive the next time you hear it after you haven't heard it in a while. ;) 

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Retail RANT- challenge of a plus size gal

Come on retailers! Take us plus sized christian women seriously. I don't shop often, partly because this is what I see and the shock overwhelms me, and partly because I'm just not a "normal woman" who loves shopping... *GASP* call the paramedics and get a straight jacket, I know.
But alas, I've just never been the "retail therapy" type O'gal. Although there are a few days this has made me happy and I've enjoyed shopping it just rarely happens.
When I must force myself to join the retail world this is what I see and this face ensues...
Retailers of America (I only know America, I don't know what is acceptable in other countries, don't sue me for my lack of travel...sue my husband and then maybe he'll take me somewhere, oh wait, don't sue him either cuz then we definitely wouldn't have the money to travel)...ahem...let me get a few things clear about what a Christian-almost middle aged-plus sized-woman does NOT want to wear. I know this might shock you, being as this is most of your clothing lines but a little constructive criticism never hurt the pocket book in the end right?!
So once and for all, let's DO THIS!

-Never ever ever do I nor anyone around me want to see me in a bathing suit that has what is called a "Plunge Bra" that goes down to my belly button. This one is self explanatory. Nor can I really wear a "TankINI", or even a "Swim Dress" being that swim dresses stop right below the crotch and let's face it, that's a whole lotta cottage cheese leg showing underneath. No, if you must put a swim dress on the market make it at LEAST mid thigh to cover most cheesy looking cells on the leg.

-WHAT's with the sleeveless tops? It's hard to find tops with sleeves these days as sleeveless has made a huge amount of clothing at shops. Ok I get it for skinny girls, but for plus sized let me ask you just one question...
When you wave at me and I have of these absurdities on, do you REALLY want to have to look at my whole arm waving back??
Is that what you REALLY want? Just let that settle for a moment while we move on.

-Shorts. Sighhh, why should I even have to go here?! Isn't it common knowledge that noone wants to see butt-crack when someone wears shorts? Oh wait, from recently being out in the public I guess not. Well, we don't. And YOU most definitely do not want these tree trucks showing all their fabulous bark from ME wearing those type of shorts. Sometimes I wonder if you actually sell any or make a profit, I mean really.

-Shirts. Ok, little known fact. Just because my boobs, and belly got bigger does NOT mean my neck grew 20 inches wider. Honestly! Some of your necks go from one shoulder to the other with plenty of boobage in between, AND halfway down my back. There's just really no need to have huge necks simply because we are plus sized, I may have more of a double chin than you but trust me, it doesn't affect the neck of my shirts at all. No really, I promise.

-While I'm on "boobage"...I personally do not suffer from the triple D's that many plus sized women do. And even if I did, I'm a married woman with children. So, I do not want to have to hold my shirt everytime I bend over to make sure noone can see down it. Plus, I'm really not interested in the world seeing what little cleavage I DO have, and neither is my husband (he'd prefer to keep that to himself thank you very much). Where has modesty gone these days?! Modesty doesn't mean you lose style or cute-factor but, really, this is a rant for another blog. I'll leave it at that. For now. muwahahaha

And last but certainly not least....

-JEGGINGS??? REALLY????!!!!

So I challenge you retailers, I want to see whatcha got. Can you sew clothes that show my inner adorable-ness to those looking from the outside without these issues?! Aww come on, you're the artists of the world, I'm SURE you have it in you.

*Disclaimer* - I may be a christian woman but my filters are less than some so none of what I said embarrasses me, if it does you I apologize...it just..needed to be said. :)
Also, this isn't meant to be a screaming rant, I really tried to make it funny and I hope that came across as I'm in a sarcastic hilarious mood...but sometimes that works to my disadvantage online and doesn't read like in my own warped head. ;)







Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Momma post- I am...Bruce Lee..wha-huh??

Today (technically...ok I stay up way too late) I'm going in for more blood work. The last time I went in I was told I was "technically" within the normal range. My TSH was .2 (norm is .1-.5). "Technically" this could mean 1 of 2 things.
1-My thyroid is on it's way downhill again (which makes me wonder even more if I have Hashimotos AND Graves isn't THAT a fun thought).
2-I'm "Technically" in remission.
By this I mean per level. It means my body is within normal range but not necessarily within optimal range. And if this is my new "normal" I don't want it honestly. It's not normal OR optimal but all the Dr looks at is that darn blood test. I am still having TONS of Graves side effects and also having a Hypo Side effect.
Right now, at this very moment here is my daily dose of challenge
-Graves Rage, this is where I tend to snap at people but do not mean too, it's just reaction.
-Hair falling out like crazy
-Eyes still popping out more, dry eyes, and itchy
-Headaches
-Extreme fatigue (I feel like I'm walking under water) I'm tired all the time and yet....
-Insomnia ...I can't sleep.
-Muscle aches and fatigue (I've lost a whole bunch of muscle lately and am very week)
-ETC
AND
-Weight gain. I keep cutting down my meals, cutting out Gluten (except over the weekend and man have I paid for that the past two days), and am walking almost daily. Yet I still gain.

I don't know. More and more research shows that you can go into an optimal remission of Graves without symptoms with diet. And then the medical profession says the ONLY way to achieve anything like this is by Radiation. Well, I can't get radiation if my levels are showing normal.

My GOD has me in this lovely tailspin of waiting game, questions, and side effects and I do not know why. But, I do know that through it all I will praise his name and be thankful. I may have tired days, but I still have days with my children and HE still gives me the strength to make it through.
I don't know what the future holds in my treatment but in the meantime I rest in HIS arms. And that's where I like it. And I endure.
Who know's, to GOD I might be just like Bruce Lee! Sayyywhaat??
and I say "technically" way too often, "technically".

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Visual & Audio Therapy for Charlie Brown

So, we have chosen a place we will be doing his visual & audio therapy and I cannot wait to begin!
JUNE 1st!

Once we have the official evaluation we will have more answers and I can be more specific about what struggles he has in daily life.
We will be going to a Therapy Center here in Tulsa which will oversee a "whole body" therapy for him. We do not know how long it will take but we do know we have to give it our all for our boy, he deserves that much. "Whole Body" means he will get Audio Therapy for his APD as well as Visual Therapy which will address both his Strabismis and his Amplyopia.
Because, in truth, all three are what you call "processing disorders". All three stem from his brain having some sort of a tick where it does not quite process the same as most people. Not quite getting there and stopping a little short, if you will.
I cannot wait to know where he stands in each of these problems, to understand my son better. Right now I don't always understand the why's or what exactly his issues are and that's hard. It's frustrating for both him and I. But once we have a better understanding we'll be better able to communicate and he'll be better able to learn.
I can coordinate his schooling in order to help him, I can do things that make it easier on him AND I can incorporate therapy at home in fun ways that he never knows is helping..like getting a Ping Pong table for example helps with his eyes connecting, etc.

I believe it is our responsibility as parents to get to know our children and their actions. Why is he so easily frustrated? Why was that fit thrown? Why is she talking back? Etc. Their actions are based on our training, whether intentional or not.
I personally wish my parents had taken this approach to me as a child. People might have dispised me a little less. But, I digress and am thankful at the same time. Because without my own experiences I would not be so careful to be different with my own children. I would not be so observant and we might never know the Why's or have reason to fix these issues.
It has made me a more understanding parent. And for that, I'm definitely thankful.
For my kiddos, I'm most certainly thankful. For these issues, I am also thankful. It's not easy to know my son is having problems or is blind in one eye and cannot understand things sometimes...but he is learning his own life lessons through his problems and experiences and they, too, will help him in the future. I'm sure of it. Because that's the way our loving FATHER works in us, so yes, I'm thankful for the trials too.


Monday, May 21, 2012

Living With Central Auditory Processing Disorder


The below is taken from a blog I recently found. I love her information and description of what Charlie Brown is going through and it gave me some great advice so I thought I'd post for anyone dealing with this disorder as well. I do not, however, support her religious beliefs so if you join her blog please be aware of that. ***LIGHTBULB*** I'm pretty sure I have some form of this disorder after reading this, but never realized it. I, too, have difficulty with many of the things she struggles with. It would explain so much, and it would help to determine where Charlie Brown might have originated with this issue. 

Living With (Central) Auditory Processing Disorder

I am walking across campus when someone stops me. While I am standing there desperately trying to figure out who this out-of-place person is, they ask me, “Are you going to the four-meter spa?”
I blink with confusion, and then realize that I am scrambling these sounds, so ask for a repeat, but it makes no more sense. Apparently this is an important question, so I ask for a re-phrase, and finally it all clicks: this is Elverta and she is asking me, “Are you going to tutor for me this fall?” This kind of auditory miscomprehension is a real problem; I end up answering the wrong questions, and sometimes the person and I do not realize that we are engaged in a dialog about entirely different subjects.
Sometimes although the other person knows what they mean, what I think they mean may not be what they are thinking of. Although I state that I understand the problem, neither of us is aware that we are “not on the same wavelength”. Then the problem continues, and the other person views this confusion as further proof of my inability to learn and perform well rather than as a mutual misunderstanding of the situation! The same scenario has happened a number of times, and been a source of problems with various managers and bosses.
Sometimes it’s the decoding where I bog down, where a conversation progresses normally, but has bad phonemic sectors, “Blah-blah-blah-blah mumble blah-blah-blah.” If I ask them to repeat, it just comes out “Blah-blah-blah-blah mumble blah-blah-blah,” again. It’s like have poor cell phone reception, where the signal gets static or drops out. The subtitles in my head, that mental transcript I mentally read to decode the meaning behind the words I have just heard, looks just fine during the blah-blah-blah-blah part, and then suddenly at the “mumble” section the letters go bad, like the alphanumeric characters on the ophthalmologist’s chart where the line is too small to read clearly. Foreign languages are especially hard to understand, especially French for not being spelled phonetically. I hate drive-through lanes, or pages and announcements at airports because I can’t understand half of what they’re saying.
I’ve had my hearing tested more than once, due to various difficulties with speech. No matter where I have lived, people have always asked me about my “accent” (actually a corrected speech impediment). However, my ears work excellently well; I hear things most people don’t, like computer hard drives and motors that are off-pitch. I have developed hyperacusis and tinnitus, and the latter only worsen my comprehension problems.
Over the years, my family, teachers, graduate school advisor, and employers have complained at me for not understanding what was going on, for forgetting what they told me, for taking things too literally, or for ignoring them. I do what I can in class and meeting situations: I sit up front, do the readings beforehand, and watch what the speaker is saying. But many times I am caught between an air conditioner fan or steam-heat radiators, flickering-buzzing lights, and a whining projector, and thus can barely understand the speaker despite the fact that I am just a few feet away. Sometimes I ask them to speak up, but it really isn’t their volume – it is me having difficulty discriminating between the voice and the background noises, plus my mental decoding of his discussion into these new words, plus my double-time processing of trying figure out what is being said in words and what it means in content. Often I cannot understand people when more than one person is speaking. I’ve tried recording lectures, but generally it’s not any clearer the second time around.
I had never realized just how much of television or movie dialog that I misunderstood until I watched television close-captioned (subtitled in English) with my hard of hearing husband. It wasn’t until later when I tried watching programs that weren’t captioned, that I realised the lapses in dialog comprehension and the strain on my attention the effort requires. I have especial difficulty on the phone or when I am not watching someone speak. When writing for newspapers and magazines I hated doing interviews, and have never been fond of carrying on extended telephone conversations. I really hate checking voice-mail, especially when I have to listen to the same rambling message three or four times just for the fast, slurred phone number at the end! Text messages work much better for me.
Verbal directions are hard to keep straight. A few summers ago I worked at a research farm, and the field boss Terry explained to me how to drive the tractor. At the time I had no trouble understanding what he was talking about, but the next day I was frustrated to find that I was unable to remember all the details and steps of what he had told me, and he was annoyed that a college student should have difficulty remembering something so simple!
Being able to identify or prevent these kinds of occurrences are problematic in school situations, and to my future employment. I needed some way of being able to explain to people how I can have such perfect hearing yet not understand what they’re saying, and that I am not being rude, uncaring, lazy or stupid. I needed better ways of dealing with problems than just “trying harder”. A hearing exam simply showed that my hearing is perfect; Auditory Processing Disorder (sometimes known as CAPD for Central Auditory Processing Disorder) is not readily diagnosable with an ordinary screening hearing exam. It requires specific testing. Once I found someone who specialised in this, the results were illuminating, and having this information has proven to be beneficial for both me and my employers.
This following is the main portion of a letter for instructors and employers describing how Auditory Processing Disorder affects me, and how I cope with it. APD is not a well-known problem, so I post this here for more people to better understand it.
Auditory Processing Disorder is an invisible disability, a developmental condition that interferes with the processing of speech. Although my hearing is perfect, I yet have intermittent problems with perceiving and decoding what people are saying. It’s like having poor cell phone reception, where the signal gets static or drops out. My difficulties have worsened with the tinnitus (a subjective, intermittent whine in my ears) that adds more “noise in the system”.
Testing by a licensed audiologist has revealed that under absolutely quiet conditions my comprehension (i.e., processing of spoken words) is 80% left ear and 86% right ear. Under noisy conditions (e.g. machinery and/or multiple voices), my comprehension is reduced to just 68% left ear and 52% right ear.
HOW IT AFFECTS ME

You can imagine how difficult it might be trying to keep up with conversations or to understand lectures when I am only comprehending half of what is being said. What I have to do is to rely on context to puzzle out what people are saying. I must spend extra mental effort to unscramble new terms and concepts, in addition to my double-time processing of trying to remember what has meanwhile been said while I was busy figuring out the word. Doing all this decoding takes up working memory. Because I have to attend to what is being said in words, I have less attention for figuring out what is meant in conceptual content. I often have to ask questions or post comments during lectures and meetings to verify what I think has been said.
My working and short-term memory are used to process the conversation, rather than to remember what I’ve heard. The result of this is that for many classes I leave the room without any clear idea of what the whole lecture was about, because I’ve not had much extra short-term memory left for storage. I have to read my notes afterwards to do the learning part from the lecture.

Verbal directions can be difficult.
 I have trouble understanding, recalling, and keeping straight a series of commands. For example, directions on how to get somewhere, the steps involved in operating machinery, or even the steps involved doing calculations can be quite difficult. Additionally, numbers like five and nine, or fifteen and fifty sound very similar.
Discriminating between voices and background noises is difficult.Situations with multiple people speaking are especially challenging because all the conversations and the background noise keep weaving together. This includes not just restaurants and conferences, but also conversations in offices, hallways, and in classes where people break into “small-group discussions”.
Most environments can be more mechanically noisy for me than others perceive them to be, because I can hear a greater range of high-frequency noises than many people. Window air-conditioning units, steam heat radiators, LCD projector fans, computer hard drives and fluorescent lights all create rooms that are substantially noisy for me. Hyperacusis (a medical condition causing increased sensitivity to sound) makes the high-frequency noises subjectively even louder.
STRATEGIES THAT HELP
I have developed a variety of compensatory strategies, as I must deal with this disorder all through the day. Outlined below are a few strategies that would be helpful for me and for us when communicating. However, these are only partially successful, and my abilities to compensate for the APD deteriorate when I am tired or sick
  • Provide me agendas and notes ahead of time, an hour or day before the lecture, to allow me to both review the concepts, and to cue in to new terms so I can anticipate them.
  • Allow preferential seating that is up front and away from machinery. This will allow me to see the speaker, as I do a little lip-reading.
  • Temperature-permitting, kindly shut the classroom door to reduce noise from hallway traffic.
  • Use the closed-captions (subtitles) option when showing videos.
  • Provide assignments or other information in writing; this can be done in e-mails, et cetera. Give me directions in writing, as e-mails, or as a summary after a discussion.
  • Allow the use of a tape player during meetings, classes and during any private appointments.
  • When appropriate, allow the use of an assistive listening device (ALD). These are typically used in large meeting rooms. It consists of a receiver with headphones for myself, and a wireless mike for the speaker. This allows the information to transmit directly through the headphones while eliminating most extraneous noises. Using an ALD such as an FM system may be helpful in large lecture halls.
NOTE: Many people mistakenly think that APD is a volume problem, and that talking louder or repeating what was said will help. Rather, what will really help is to re-phrase what is being communicated.
APD is a very frustrating and misunderstood disorder. There is no cure. I have lived with it my entire life, and it is quite liberating to know that it is a true disorder and that it has a name. This allows me the opportunity to learn more about it, and to be better able to find ways to communicate more clearly and more efficiently.
Please understand that my conversational difficulties do not affect my motivation or abilities to learn and perform. I need people to understand that I am not being rude, uncaring, lazy or stupid.

Written by: 
Andrea. Andrea’s Buzzing About: Living With (Central) Auditory Processing Disorder[Internet]. San Francisco: Andrea’s Buzzing About: c2006-2008 – [cited ____________ ]. Available from: http://qw88nb88.wordpress.com/living-with-auditory-processing-disorder/ .

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Timing is everything.

I posted a week or so ago about not judging a book by it's cover. Well, my dear shy husband got a lesson in that tonight, which embarrassed the crud outa him. And, of course, I have to tell it now. I guess this could be a lesson to all on not assuming something until you know the facts as well. Not judging others by their words until you find out their hearts.
We were at hideaway pizza and happenstance was that my husband ended up in the "jerk of the month club" without even trying, or knowing what he did.
Let me set it up for you, it's good trust me.

So I'm sitting across the table from Scott and behind him are an older couple, their 40ish daughter, and her daughter. So, grandparents, daughter, young granddaughter.
We get our meal and are eating. Now, Scott ordered a chicken alfredo pizza because he'd never tried one before and, let me just tell you, we ENJOY our food. We are foodies for sure. Hmmm, I should really write a blog on foods. But back to this... So, he tries something new and get's really excited at how good it is. He's raving about it, saying he will order this from now on, and is just...really excited. In the meantime I notice the people behind him getting up to leave. I'm halfway listening, what can I say, I'm a bad wife. Anyway, 40ish daughter drops her keys and starts to bend over towards us. I immediately direct my attention back to my plate because, let's face it, I'm not interested in seeing her bend over in her too-short-for-her-age-shorts.

It is at this exact moment that Scott (who's been talking about this pizza and focused only on the plate in FRONT of him) let's out a "WHOOHOO", for having found a yummy new dish of course. What? You don't whoohoo when you have yummy food???
And out of the corner of my eye I see an exaggerated quick movement that makes me look up only to realize that this woman has immediately POPPED back up and turned quickly around to glare at the back of my husband's head...and then she looks at me with disdain. BOOM, my husband in the jerk of the month club with women everywhere.
It took me a moment of confusion when she looked so haughtily at me to realize that he'd "whoohoo'd" at the exact moment she bent over and then I began to laugh hysterically. They walk out, and she and her father both glare down at Scott on the way out and I'm laughing and Scott's asking me "What??? What's so funny"??? Which I had to wait to tell him until they were gone because I KNEW how embarrassed he'd be when I did.
This poor innocent man had no clue what'd he'd done and MAN did he turn red when I finally got to tell him.
Poor guy, he was so embarrassed, his timing was everything, he made the jerk of the month club, AND possibly made another woman's night all at one time! He's good and he didn't even know it! And seriously, mid-sentence me telling him what he'd done THIS was the look on his face, riiiight before the red came and  he laughed.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

I'm in love with Amish Butter

I went to post this day before yesterday and just so happened to see that Pioneer Woman posted about Butter day before yesterday! What are the odds? Me and Ree, we're TIGHT like that, we should become buddies, you know, since I look like a stalker moving close to her and all...
So I'm taking a chance. I started working on this post WED EVENING, but believe as you will. I'm willing to risk being thought of as PW copycat....darn you PW and all your glorious funny-ness!! 
What was my post about? 
Oh yeah, Butter. 
....
It's yummy. Delicious. Scrumptious and so many other good things. 
I would highly suggest it. I don't really know whether it's REAL Amish Butter or not but I buy it at an Amish store. Does that count?
In fact, I'm in love with the Amish period. I love their lifestyle, their puritan ways, love of the earth, and most especially love of GOD. I love learning about their ways, not that it's easy. But I plan on learning more, mostly in case my husband ever get's his way. I always say my husband would have me living in an Amish Community if he could. Not that they would accept this rebel. I'd proly be a bad apple to them. But you know, just in case. What can I say?! He's an extremist, when he changes he goes ALL the way. So, you know, just in case I ever have to live within the...um...Ordnung?...I think I should know more about it.

In all seriousness though, my family IS striving to live more simply, not including my blog addiction of course *eyeroll*. Less of what the world wants, living more on what we need vs want, not including my new couch of course *sigh*. Ok I SAID striving did I not?! And seriously we did need a new couch, I couldn't even sit on ours anymore it reeked of spilt orange juice so badly.
Well I plan on making homemade butter this summer as a project with the boys. I saw it on *puritan pinterest*
And who knows?! Maybe next year I'll even get up enough strength to plant a garden!
I SAID MAYBE!!

*puritan pinterest does not exist but I said puritan because it made me sound more Amish, and simple. And less addicted to internet.

Friday, May 18, 2012

You scared my Nuts out!

Do your children have sayings that are completely innocent coming from them but then into your ears it goes and there goes the innocence right along with it?!
Yeah. My King Fu Roo has several.

One of his favorite is "You scared my nuts out". Or it may be said as "My nuts are coming out". Or even "Momma, see my nuts?! The are out now". 

Alrighty. So enough of your laughing at my child. No really. Don't read it again. Sigh. I'll wait. Ok ready for the explanation?!

NUTS=chill bumps. He sees them, says they look like little nuts, and therefore BOOM...we make up our own little language in this house.

So. I'm sitting here and I hear Charlie Brown go "AHHHH", and then I hear Kung Fu Roo go "eeee, CHARLIE!!! DON'T DO THAT, you make my nuts come out!!!"
*shakes head*
No, I really don't know what we're going to do with this child either.
I guess I'm going to either let him make up his own language, or teach him awesome Kung Fu skeelz to teach brother a lesson.

OR..................BOTH

Thursday, May 17, 2012

How to be a REAL friend

So, I keep mentioning Eucharisteo but I keep saying "more on that later". And once again I'm going to say it. Because that's not really what this post is about. That's where I am now, though, and who I'm trying to be. However, it can be said many times by many people that this is not the person they know about me. The person they know gripes, alot. She is dramatic, clingy, sarcastic (I know you didn't know THAT one), and so many other negative things.
But this is where I am now. Where God is leading me because, really, people CAN change. Don't believe me? Get to know me and my life story and I'll prove it to you. ;)
Why am I telling you this? Well, it pertains. Why, you ask? You sure are asking alot of questions today. Listen, I'll tell you.
It pertains because there are many times I could look back into those dark times when a friend has hurt me and say "she should have been there for me", or "she should have done that differently" or "she could have talked to me about it, I would have listened". And I struggle with those thoughts alot, I admit. Because it's hard not to blame others, it's our nature as human beings.
However I'm at a point now where I'm looking within, and I'm more confident than I once was, I'm not sure why but maybe it's that I KNOW I'm in God's hands and not all up to me, because I know I'll fail if so. That gives a person horrible confidence you know.
So, I think it would be better if we ALL looked within and rather than thinking about what others do wrong, think about what kind of friend WE can be. It is said that there's a high percentage of women out there, at any moment, looking for their next great friendship.
So that means there just might be others out there feeling like me. Wanting someone who will stick it out in the good AND bad times. Just like I do.
What if I decided to BE the friend I want, and just trust in God to bring those friendships and not get in so much of a rush?
Some days that is hard because I really just want someone to go have coffee with or get away from the house and talk too. But, in being thankful I can instead turn to my husband and be thankful for the friendship I have in him, the one that has grown in this time of girlfriend famine (and don't get me wrong, I still have some pretty great friends...it just so happens they all live far away though).
So what does this friend I'd like/like to be look like?
-Listen more than talk..or at least take turns
-Bite lip if it's trying to gossip, or tongue, whichever is doing the dirty work
-Be positive and loving
-Be honest
-Be supportive, my decisions are not theirs and they don't have to hear MY opinion on everything (ladies and gents this is the most difficult for me I think).
-Have fun. No worries
-Understand. We all have bad days, bad moods, etc. I don't have to get upset just because they are.
and most of all
-Don't take it personal. Whatever "IT" is. Don't obsess, don't be obsessive.
-BE THERE. During the good AND the bad. We are such a throwaway society, real friends stay thru the years, even when it's hard and love them thru it. Even when I must SAY the things that are hard because I love them.




Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Where are their hearts?

My friend has her hilarious son do a "Troy says" segment every week. This child is seriously funny. One time he asked me what happened to my eyebrows (I have very light eyebrows and so you don't see them if I don't have brow liner on and one day I saw him I did..the next I didn't, the child was truly perplexed). I think I told him I was playing with fire...or something teachable and most likely traumatized him for life. I do that, you know. ;)
You can read his segments here. Funny Troy. We miss him.
So, I'm going to try this. My kids are thinkers so I'm not sure this will work but I'm going to try anyway. If it turns out good I'll proly make it a mid-week segment too. Because mid-week is when my brain turns to mush.

Charlie Brown on Homeschool
When telling him what we are doing he said. "uuughhhh am I gonna have to do math"???
1. Why do we Homeschool? Because we need to learn
2. Do you like it? yes
3. What is your favorite thing to do in Homeschool? handwriting
4. Least favorite? reading
5. What would you like to learn? science
What kind of science? sea science
Why? because I love the sea
6. What do you think you're learning? Right now? mmm mathhhhh, math!
7. What do you think Mommy could do better? teach me science about the sea!
8. Who's your favorite person in the world? you
and then he corrected me saying "momma, THAT is not how to spell math".

Ok so my kids aren't funny on command. They are funny in their own rite, but you know what?! This is still a good way to see where their hearts are weekly. ;)

Kung Fu Roo
1. Why do we Homeschool? because it's good. so we can learn.
2. Do you like it? uhhhh yes
3. What is your favorite thing to do in Homeschool? ummm math. everything.
4. Least favorite? everything again.
5. What would you like to learn? ummm counting. how to build. annnd coloring and writing annnd AHA! got it mamma, I like toooo see how large and numbers the wood is and everything how big and how large. and how to know how to paint. annndd paint all by myself. and with no paint getting on me. and ...that's all! *whheeeww I thought I was going to have to stop him*
6. What do you think you're learning? uhhhh math and painting and how to build everything.
You're already learning that? uhhh no. I dunno.
7. What do you think Mommy could do better? Cuddle with me and do dishes and be my sweety heart and sweety.
Do I need to do dishes more? Uhhh not really. But most of the future and time and future time.
8. Who's your favorite person in the world?  uhhhh everyone that sees me. and be nice to me.

And then I had to argue with Noah cuz he wanted to do more and said this was fun. And refused to leave. oi vey. And is currently saying "can I do it now, how about now, now, how about now?" over and over again.

What is a good subject to ask them about next week?




Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Oh the Drama

I know. Mine are the ONLY children who are overly dramatic and cry when they are tired over nothing right?!
Yours don't do that. Your lil angels don't throw fits in Walmart, or get dramatic to the point that you've named how badly the drama is by "Level 1-4", heck, yours don't even GET tired am I right?!
Didn't think so.
But sometimes during those fit throwing tired moments they truly say the funniest things.
Tonight, after prayers Kung Fu Roo started to get out of bed to give me kisses and he banged his head on the top bunk. But Momma's lightening fast reflexes were able to by-pass the fit by immediately tickling exposed tummy. Wheewwwww
But then, oh why is there always a "but then"?! Yep, you guessed it. While laughing he started to get back out of bed to give me kisses and bonked his head in the very same place...which I have to admit I laughed. It was funny. Same place, poor kid's got my luck. But I was too busy laughing to by-pass fit this time (bad Momma) and so he cried. And cried and cried.
After kissing being drug out of him and telling him for the 4323345325 time that "he's OK" I walked out and let Daddy tuck them in (he's a good Daddy). But Kung Fu Roo wasn't done yet. He called me back in to tell me something and after he was done telling me the dramatic cries ensued. *Dramatic cries aren't real cries by the way, they are poor me cries when we feel sorry for ourselves*. Now when I'm having a dramatic cry you know.
Then he says it. I hear from the room "ohhhh MOMMA! My Sweet LITTLE HEAD!!!"....more dramatic cries. I say between hysterics "you're sweet lil head is right baby"...and he ends with "I want my sweet little head to stop hurting"!!!

Naahhhh he's not spoiled or a Momma's baby at all. I have NO clue what you're talking about....

Annnnddd.. speaking of pouting. This is one of my kiddos favorite books. Just so ya know. But in the end, he CHOOSES to be happy regardless of his circumstances, much like my family's life we're learning to live of Eucharisteo...but more on that later.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Kung Fu Roo's story

I posted Charlie Brown's Story here. It's very Anti-Abortion and argues the fact that they ARE babies, straight from conception.
But now it's time to continue that argument. As Paul Harvey would say, you need to know "the REST of the story". And, hopefully, this will not be the last story I tell about my kiddos...I'm hoping there's one more story to be told...one more argument to make. We shall see, though and more on that later.

Many times I hear the pro-abortion argument about "me or the baby", or "the baby will not have a full life", etc. And this side states that if the child is known (or even suspected) to have problems in-utero that the best thing is to terminate pregnancy. It's just...easier.
Ok that thought sickens me, but in this blog I'm trying to remain positive and funny and therefore going on a rant about this thought would only make me look crazy. Because I do. When I rant about you killing off God's creation because they are "different" than you, that is. Crazy, wild haired, angry woman. And no, no she's not much fun.
So, I'm just going to stick with tell you our own story that relates to this argument.

Just One year after our first miracle arrived and blessing our lives so much so that it changed us completely we found out we were expecting again. This time I told my hubs day of by the way. To our knowledge I hadn't been pregnant since Charlie Brown's arrival so there was no reason to think I couldn't deliver again. Oh I was so confident that since we'd had one, all problems were magically solved from here on out. HA!
I was so happy because I had just lost ALOT of weight, found out I was pregnant and, in my small mind, all things were going to be glorious and so much better now.
But, like a good momma to be who knew she was high risk I called the Dr and scheduled my first appointment asap. This time with a new Dr (same practice) who would soon become known as "my favorite Dr" or "the good Dr" or something equally as awesome.
This time we heard the heartbeat at 8 weeks without having to do a sonogram and all seemed normal with the baby. With me, however, it was not so. "Favorite Dr" was concerned about my recent weight loss, as well as some symptoms I was having and sent off for blood tests. The main concern was that I had NO folic acid in my blood at this moment so they pumped me with it, and sent me with meds AND that I was HYPER-thyroid. The tests showed I had/have Graves Disease. They had to stop my thyroid completely to make sure baby stayed safe. Bye bye skinny Momma, HELLO BALLOON! POOF, just like that. It was fun I tell ya. sigh
"Good DR" also decided to do some further testing on my health problems because he was curious about why I lost so many vs was able to sustain two babies now. But those results wouldn't be in until later in the pregnancy.
So, about 10-12 weeks (when I say "about" it's because all this was 6 years ago, I have Graves disease and therefore horrible memory and unfortunately didn't journal back then so gimme some grace on the exact things...they aren't important anyway) we go in for our sonogram. I remember being SO frustrated at having to wait so long to see the baby because I got to see Charlie Brown so often so early. HA! God was about to teach me a lesson in "beware what you ask for".
"All looks good with baby, except, well except one little thing...but we're going to send you to a specialist to make sure because our machine is old and it might just be the machine". This was all they'd tell me.
So, the next week I went to the specialist. Oh well, at least I got to see baby again!
After the specialist did their sonogram, went into his office to consult via phone with "Good Dr" he came out and told me the news. The baby had a bright spot on his/her heart. I went back to "Good Dr" for him to explain fully because "Good Dr" was thorough and liked to explain everything in detail to make sure you are well informed...one of the many things I liked about him.
The Decision
"Good Dr" informed me that baby had a bright spot and most times this was indicative of Down Syndrome but could also be indicative of a hole in the heart. Most likely Down Syndrome at this point though. Now, our chances of baby actually HAVING down syndrome weren't like 90% or anything but I recently read that it doubles the chance of your baby having Downs. And it's also not the only indicator of Downs In Utero, it was just OUR indicator that it was a possibility. So then, as his duty forced upon him "Good Dr" had to say we had a choice because we were still early in the pregnancy. He then followed up with a quick "I mean, I personally wouldn't make that decision due to my beliefs but I have to inform you of it." I quickly told him "no, that is not an option for us", he let out a sigh of relief and we continued discussing the what-ifs and plan for the pregnancy. Basically we would continue to see the specialist every week for now, see if any other signs show up.
I should tell you that I also chose NOT to do an amnio screening because I was and am not willing to take the risks of doing such a test. I personally do not believe we should mess with God's creation in such intrusive ways.
The Miracle
We watched and watched that lil heart grow but the bright spot remained. No other signs showed though so slowly our hopes grew (though we tried not to let them).
Then, one appointment at the specialist things got crazy. Nurse after nurse came in and finally the Dr. WHAT?! Confusion had set in, panic was almost here too. But finally, the Dr told me the news.
At 8 months pregnant....
THE BRIGHT SPOT WAS GONE.
Just. Gone. Just like that.
After discussing with "Good Dr" what this meant I still was not convinced all worries were over. I did do the Tri-Test where they test Momma's blood later in the pregnancy and all came back clear (well, with very lil percentage chance anyway). And he finally got to tell me, it looked like our little BOY was healthy with no conditions known. At the same time, as luck would have it, he received those test results of all my health problems back. He read this extensive list to me of my problems and why I lost those first 5 babies. Then looked at my blood levels with this pregnancy and stated that my Progesterone levels were not enough to sustain a pregnancy, my Folic Acid levels were not enough to sustain a pregnancy, my thyroid levels were off the chart and therefore my thyroid hormone levels were not enough to sustain a pregnancy, etc etc etc.
He stopped reading about half way down this long list and looked straight at me and said the words that will live in my heart forever....
"So basically, these two boys you have are nothing but Miracles from God. You should have never been able to carry or sustain them otherwise."
And now you know why I liked that sweet Dr so much!

In short, for 8 months of my pregnancy my little boy had a chance of being born a Down Syndrome baby. And you know what? We were going to accept him JUST as he was. No excuses people! The bible says "ALL children are a gift from God"!

And just a month or so ago lil Kung Fu Roo looked at me and said this not even knowing his own story yet:
"Momma, do you know where God lives"?
"No baby, where"?
"In my heart". BIG SMILE.

You're absolutely right baby. In your heart, where he always was to begin with.





Now, I would LOVE to de-bunk the myth that it's better than foster care. I'm working on it. Give God some time. ;) :) :)








Home School-Curriculum 2012-2013 choices

While I'm trying to figure out how to separate each topic and keep those posts to the appropriate place I suppose putting them all on the main blog will have to do. After all, the main reason for this blog is my own personal journal so, really, I suppose there's no reason to spend so much time on it unless things get carazay!
So here's what I gots (yes, the s was intentional, my kids are so lucky to be learning from me!!)

Both kiddos: both will work in their own grades but with same curriculum on Math, English, and Handwriting but will work on same levels with Science, History, and Bible.

Math-this is the hard one. Still deciding between 3.
        Math U See - Jones Genius's - Horizons
English-Time 4 Learning (this may change)
Bible- Answers in Genesis BIBLE curriculum
Science-Answers in Genesis, Answers for Kids Volumes 1-4 and Children's DVD Pack
History- It changed. Decided we're going to do a presidential lapbook/notebook since it's election year
Handwriting- Handwriting without Tears

Charlie Brown:
More Handwriting-Writing letters to a pen-pal (Oh yeah, I'm including this as learning)
Spelling-Heidi Songs/Memory Cd's
Reading-Library Books - I plan to make a weekly visit to the Library, or at least bi-weekly

Kung Fu Roo:
Spelling-Phonic Songs on CD
Reading-Teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons + Library Books

Saturday, May 12, 2012

I refer to my children as cartoons

Why? I'm not exactly sure.
1- I'm overprotective so it's easier than saying their names online, although if anyone did a little research it wouldn't be difficult to find out their names.
2- It makes me laugh. When I'm frustrated it's good for me to find humor in the situations and well, when your son has painted his face to look like Kung Fu Panda and brings a paintbrush dripping black ink all over the house while practicing his "expert" Kung Fu moves it's MUCH funnier to think of a week later...in cartoon version like I have on the right..don't you agree??
3- It's funny. They are characters and so I lovingly refer to them as such. As they evolve so will their character and maybe I'll continue drawing what I see daily. Dennis the Mennis? Garbage Pail Kids? Barney, who knows?!
4- It fits.
The oldest hears like Charlie Brown, wears glasses, has excellent style as explained in my previous blog, and is all boy.
The youngest Well. He is who he is. He doesn't care what others think, he loves to make people laugh, he wears what he wants and never apologizes for it. His nickname is Roo because I've never known a child to love to cuddle with his Momma as much as this guy. If I had a pouch, he'd be IN IT! He adores wearing his bright green Crocs and gets extremely offended when Daddy says "THOSE ARE NOT CHURCH SHOES"! Sigh...every...Sunday. He is convinced he knows Kung Fu just from watching movies, and practices every day. In fact, just yesterday he told me he would teach me "Quiet and Peace-ness" because I needed to learn it and he was my master. HA!

Together they are much like another couple of boys a few of you might recognize. Their attitudes and styles remind me SO much of them that I wonder if someone knew these guys, traveled into the future, wrote about them, and traveled back to their time. Except Kung Fu Roo is more the ladies man, and Charlie Brown could care less...but hey, they couldn't get EVERYTHING right. Right?!
You might recognize them too. Which reminds me, we really should purchase these movies. You know, to watch on those paint days to remind me why I'm doing all this.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Charlie Brown's Story

My oldest, my "Charlie Brown" has a story, you've read some of it. But, I have posted his very first story yet and today is the day! I felt inspired by seeing the story of Christian Buchanan  and if you haven't seen HIS story yet please, take a moment to go watch it. But bring tissues. And not while you're cooking supper, supper will burn because you won't be able to see it. Did you watch it? It's ok, let the tears dry before you read on. Better? Ok. Isn't he beautiful?! SUCH a precious gift are those with challenges!
What inspired this story is when she said "One girl even told me I was a horrible person for not aborting in-utero". I'm sorry WHAT?! Oh how she didn't beat that "girl" to a pulp I'll never know! (Ok, let me explain I'm hormonal lately. All these beating references, I'm really not this violent usually...usually).
One of my favorite speakers is Gianna Jessen and if you haven't heard her, you NEED too! You can watch her above. Oh how I adore her and her spunk!
One of my favorite quotes from her states "Ladies and Gentlemen there are things that you will ONLY be able to learn by the weakest among us". And it is so true.

One of the abortion arguments is that they are not "babies", our emotions are removed from what is in our womb. And so, here is my counter argument and my oldest's child first story.

I lost 5 babies before I got pregnant with him. During the last 2 we were told I had too many health problems, I could not carry a pregnancy, my body would not sustain it. But then we followed God's lead and submitted to moving back to where I grew up, to the Dessert. We didn't want to go but we felt led too and for the first time in our marriage we submitted and went. Shortly after that I found out I was pregnant. Again. But let me back up a little. During my last miscarriage I was being watch by what I call "the crazy Dr" and you'll find out why here in a sec, don't rush me! ;) My hormone levels weren't going down fast enough for this Dr and he thought my body might not have Miscarried naturally like before when the babies heart stopped beating. One day, in his office he told me that yes, my levels were going down but very slowly and so he thought it would be best if we just went ahead and did another DNC to get all the extra out of there so it could be done quickly. Now, I had just gone thru this procedure months before and it wasn't fun. I feel like I have to explain every time that I went thru this procedure ONLY because the baby had died in utero, NOT because of my "choice", I would never ever do that. However, this time I felt an extremely strong tug to let it be. I saw levels going down, we were about to move back home and I didn't just want to put my body thru that again, not to mention the overwhelming feeling I had in my spirit saying "NO!". When I told him I think it's all going to be ok do you know that this "Crazy Dr" had the nerve to say to me.."well, I could always declare you incompetent of making this decision and call the police to bring you back to the operating room". Ummm, I'm sorry but when someone can FORCE you to have surgery and declare you incompetent that's called "DICTATORSHIP" NOT democracy and it's WRONG!! While he was out of the room letting us "think about what he said" we left. And you know what?! That was all satan, you'll find out why here in a second.
Back to being in the Dessert.
So, we're all moved and I get this feeling again. We just started new jobs, and I'm thinking "oh no, not again. We can't handle another loss" so I actually go to my first Dr appt there in the Dessert at a very awesome new Dr clinic without Scott ever knowing that I was, in fact, pregnant again. They drew blood and told me my levels looked good for how far along I was (only about 3-4 weeks at the time) and we scheduled another appt in 4 weeks. Me being high risk, I got to go in more than most women.
So, I told my husband and we waited. Nothing happened but we dare not get our hopes up. I mean, it had been less than 2 months after the last loss when I got pregnant there's no way my body could sustain after that with all my other health problems right?!
At 8 weeks we go in and they decide they will try to see if they can get a heartbeat. Nothing. They decide they are going to do an ultrasound, one that, um, get's a lil closer to the baby-ifyaknowwhatImean. So, the nurse gears up and turns the machine away from us. Of course. Sigh. She inserts the ultrasound and waits. She holds her breath too. GREAT! So I prepare myself for what comes next...and then. Then the nurse smiles and chuckles. REALLY? Wait, what?! She says "you HAVE to see this". In a very confused state while holding my breath for over 15 minutes I look as she turns the machine. And there, on this machine is my lil peanut. But he's not just there....he's DANCING! You read that right. Dancing, with his lil nubs for arms and nubs for legs and he's wiggling back and forth from one side of my sac to the other bouncing off the sides as he goes. Dancing. At. EIGHT. WEEKS. OLD.
Unfortunately the machine we were on was a mobile one and could not record him dancing but it's something I'll never forget, to see him not only well, not only alive, but dancing and thriving.

So here's the catch. I do not produce progesterone, the very hormone we had been watching go down. My body also does not produce Folic Acid, needed to sustain the baby. Had I followed "Crazy Dr's" orders and had a DNC, there would not have been enough Folic Acid OR Progesterone left over to sustain my dancing baby. Only because God saw fit to give us the gift of our lil "Charlie Brown" at that time were we able to keep him and have him.
Pretty cool eh?!
So there. I've seen a baby dance at eight weeks in utero. BOOM! Argument won. :)

Thursday, May 10, 2012

The book cannot be told by it's cover

It's so often we hear "Don't judge a book by it's cover", yet most often it's the adults who say this I find judging my son. Wondering why he does act as old as he looks, looking at me funny when hearing his lisp, or when he gets over-frustrated and cries. I admit it, it's hard not to do..but it's something we've been trying to gently remind people of since he was born and now since we've found out about his blindness AND auditory issues we have even more cause.
Let me just say right here right now, my boy is HUGE. Not in a chubs sort of way, although his tree trunk legs do make finding pants that fit a challenge. :) He's actually rather skinny, in a-built on firm foundation sort of way-, but when he was 1 year old he wore a 2T, when he was 2 it was 4-5 and so on. We've been told by two different pediatricians that he is going to be about 6'6 260 lbs as an adult and I think "Well, if people make fun of him for his challenges he can just beat the crap outa them". Ahem, no not really...ok I HAVE thought that, but only a few time when people are especially ridiculous in their expectations...bad Momma bad.
Errrr back to the point.
So, where were we? Pounding ppl? NO...judging...ah yes.
Anywayssss...
As he grew older we knew he had a speech impediment. I even took him for evaluation at 3 years old because I knew something wasn't quite what most call "normal"...and who's normal anyway? What IS normal? Is it this "village" I hear about that wants to raise my child and turn him into God-hating-being ok with his sin-just as he is-type of person because if it is..then really, we're quite ok with abnormal thank you very much.
Wow, what IS it with my tangents today? I blame Graves Rage. Yes, that must be it.
Again, like a good mommy I took him in and they told me there's nothing they can really do till he's 5. And at 5 he was labeled as just not wanting to do the work and not being interested, not QUITE ADHD but close. Which is not at all close to what he has.
At 6 I took him to an audiologist and they told me he has a good chance of having his APD. Ahhh, answers. Now that he's 8 and has APD, ALONG with Visual disorder the child has issues. But you know what? HE doesn't let those issues slow him down or stop him so why should I?! And for that matter, why should any stranger on the street judge my son?! So what if he cries a lil more easy than your obnoxious 8 year old who's NOTHING like my son??? He's tenderhearted, and he get's frustrated and doesn't quite know how to hold it all in..but he's working on it and I must say he's much better at it than I was at his age. I didn't know how to control my own emotions till I was....errr....30.
To take a child who's strong-willed, visually impaired, AND has audio problems and know he controls himself over 80% of the time...that's pretty darn good in my book. I think we've worked well with him and I'm proud of him.
Now, the lisp (speech thing). He works on this too. He can actually SAY L instead of "yell" now is a BIG accomplishment of him.
Don't be so quick to judge others, especially children when they look, act, or sound differently than yours. You have no clue what they have been or are going through.
Children don't need a village to raise them, they need strong, loving, and caring parents who are involved with them. And they need the village to be understanding that "normal" doesn't exist. We all have issues we have to overcome. Some just...start earlier than others.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

It's Messy Right Now

We face a big decision with Lucas's treatment. There are a few options at this point.

Option 1-Visual therapy at an optical clinic in town
Positives:
-Therapy done 2x week by a professional therapist for 30 minutes-1 hour
-They have a 97% success rate
-It's 6 months-1 year
-He'll be evaluated and watched by a professional
-Includes APD Therapy as well but not the focus
Negatives:
-It is $5000-$10000 ($5000-6 months worth)

Option 2-
Positives:
-APD Therapy done 5x week by ME (mom) for 3-4 HOURS a day
-It's 12 months-18 months long
-He'll be evaluated by a professional every 4 months
-Includes Visual Therapy as well
-Half the price
Negatives:
-It is $2000-$3000 ($2000 for 1 year)
-How will we school when this takes 3 hours a day?
-Longer program

So there we are. Two difficult programs. One more difficult financially, one more daily/physically. Neither are guaranteed. So, we discuss and we pray..and on top of this is the mess we must figure out.

                        

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

A Caterpillar

We have a butterfly habitat and have been raising caterpillars for weeks now. This morning, one of them hatched into a beautiful Painted Lady Butterfly. A couple of things I noticed about this amazing process...

-Caterpillars grow VERY quickly (and eat everything). I have to say this is just like my son. There are times I'm afraid he's about to gnaw on the counters waiting for supper to be ready.
-They work diligently. They spin silk to help them climb, and it's amazing to watch how they wrap it around on piece, then bring it down and wrap around another.
-They shed their skin, twice! Twice we found pieces of each caterpillar left over. Once to move into their new furry bodies when they've grown enough and once to move into their cocoons.
-Breaking out of the cocoon is not easy business. It's a struggle. They fight, squeeze, push, and bleed.

What is MOST interesting is that, without this struggle...the butterfly would never be able to fly. I once read a story of a boy feeling sorry for this butterfly trying to get out of the cocoon and so he opened the hole and made it large. When the butterflies wings dried the boy noticed it's wings were malformed and he could not fly. In a panic he raced to his grandpa asking why, the tears streaking across his face. The grandpa had to give him the bad news that, in reality, while he tried to help the lil butterfly he actually hurt him because the process of getting out of the cocoon actually pushes all the fluids into the right place and stretches his wings to fly.

And so, right now my son is a caterpillar. Our fight just beginning, just soaking in all the knowledge we can while waiting for our official evaluation to happen in June. He's eating everything, growing like a weed and just enjoying being a boy. In June our fight will begin and from what I'm reading it's not going to be easy. It's going to be a struggle. He's going to have to fight for it, to squeeze, to push, and we both may end up bleeding in the end.
But you know what? After the blood is stained next to his cocoon of his old self there will be a beautiful butterfly. Nomatter what the outcome, I know that God will use him for GREAT good...whether still blind in one eye and the struggle to hear or if God's will is that he's overcome and corrected these issues.

Either way, he'll have a story to tell and a Godly life to live.

Monday, May 7, 2012

The Momma's treatment update

Ok, a treatment update on me, and then I'll get back to the fun blogs about my boys. People have been wanting to know so here it is.
I'm in Limbo.
Currently my levels show on the normal side of TH3 and therefore I'm not a proper candidate for Radiation. I was, during Christmas..but the Cherokee Nation took so much time getting all the paperwork together that my levels changed...and now it's different.
So, I have been on no meds for almost a year (which is the only way to possibly die from Graves disease) per Doctors Orders. In the last year my muscles have weakened greatly, my eyes are popping more, my heart palpitations are daily, blood pressure is up, hair falling out, can't sleep, etc etc. It's fun. REAAAAALLLL funnnn. My husband especially loves the "graves rage" where I snap at him without thinking because of extreme irritability, well...wouldn't you?!
So, I wait. I wait for levels to change, something to show, improve, decline, whatever.

While I wait I've begun slowly taking gluten out of my diet...except for that hamburger I had tonight but I won't mention that so you'll never know!
I said SLOWLY!
Errrm, anyway, I have seen a little bit of improvement I must say. I'm researching more about it and about not eating processed foods. But, I have to say I am much better than we used to be, and more organic as well. I'm starting to love fruit again, starting to not eat sugar as much! WOOT. It's a slow process when you're stubborn but I say any improvement is good improvement! And I don't regret that hamburger one bit so stop bugging me!!!
;)

He's a Panda, He's a Roo..

He's master of all, and his awesomeness is...awesome.
Had to include my lil one somewhere in here. No health problems yet other than general panda chubbyness but I can't help but love those sweet cheeks!
The little brother is comedic refuge. One the days where the older one and I are tearing our hair out trying to teach him to read/write/math/etc we will be at wits end, growling at each other and in runs the panda, butt bared to some capacity while cracking jokes/making faces/running into things/etc and the ice breaks and we laugh. All of us. Little brother loves big brother so much and the two are rarely apart. He's also the glue that holds big brother together some days when big brother wants to lose his temper. God knew what he was doing putting these two together. They are like Fire and Ice, and together they are two very amazing lil boys.

Living to Defeat

I learn so much daily from my boys. They are such a blessing, and even on the hard days I wouldn't trade it for the world. They teach me to forgive, to love, to have grace, to love, to laugh, to be silly, to pretend, and most of all..to never give up.
Fall 2011 we entered a new school and with a new curriculum. In this new new curriculum my boy was behind. So, we decided it would frustrate him less if we didn't push it and "technically" took him back to 1st grade (he was supposed to enter 2nd). By mid year he was almost done with 1st grade, and we began catching up and learning what he'd missed in 2nd. His teacher saw the opportunity to get him on track and so she did. She sent homework home almost every night (in a school where there's no homework) and my Boy worked hard. We asked him prior to this if this is what he wanted, to graduate the year from 2nd and be ready for 3rd. We explained that it was going to mean twice the work and twice and difficult on him. He cheerfully said "YES"! and so we did.
He got tired. He got frustrated. Some days we both pulled our hair out but before long he was caught up. And now he's completely on track and ready for 3rd grade. In Bob Jones Curriculum I might add (the math and reading is more advanced than some others out there).
Now, why all the bragging? Big deal, you say?
The big deal is that two weeks ago we found out that during all this time not only did he have the APD where he was having trouble processing instructions, seeing dyslexic at time, etc...but he was also blind in one eye. Not only did catch up, never give up, and SUCCEED...but this child did so with Audio AND Visual difficulties.

No, I don't think my son is the Helen Keller of this age. But credit is deserved for his efforts and I'm giving it where it's due. And by the way, when we read the story of Helen Keller's teacher in his school book, I was sure to ask him if he thought God had an amazing plan for his own life as well. He assured me that "yes, Momma, God does". :)