Yesterday was one week since Firebird left to go with her Bios.
We knew she may be leaving, we did stand up against it a bit since it was not the right time or in HER best interest, and we dreaded the day when it was scheduled. We were a family in crisis for several weeks prior. She was scared, and showing all sorts of signs about it, as well as verbalizing her fears but still that day still came.
However, when that morning came to say goodbye we all woke up with peace. Her fears which had rendered her into a 3 year old state of nervous reactions, and trauma behaviors just the night before had melted and she was able to smile again. And somehow we were all able to smile for her too, even my most dramatic son. We didn't even cry that morning as we had the night before. It was completely phoenominal that peace that overcame us, and has been with us since. A God given gift, to tell us to let go and give her life into HIS hands.
No, I don't believe all is perfectly ok in her life now. No, I still don't think it was time yet. But the peace is there and I'm so very thankful for it.
She was never meant to be ours, and it made me realize how each of our children are just gifts from God for a season. Only he knows how long that season will last. Hers was a short season but it was not without many a lesson, some very difficult to learn, and some marvelous.
I hope she sings. Not because she's trying to make someone love her, or impress those around her...but for herself alone. I hope she dances, even when she's scared....to see that life is beautiful even in the rain. I hope she is scooped up by our Heavenly father and taken as one of HIS own, in His perfect timing and used for a great purpose.
We did all we could for her while she was here, and as a foster parent that's all you really can do.
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