Recently there was an event in LA called the "Slut Walk". There are plenty of blogs out there that have already shared all the facts about the creator of the event and the event itself so I'm just going to keep to my own opinion and experience, because that's what I'm better at and disliked most for. HA!
Ladies, oh how do I say this and make you believe it? Ladies! The Slut Walk is NOT dignified, it's trying to control everyone else around you rather than working on controlling yourself and your own choices/actions.
Now that I have the feminist movement up in arms let me share my own experience and why I believe this.
Back in the college days, oh let's face it I'd already dropped out of community college by this point and was just using "the college days" as an excuse to party. And party I did. One night a friend and I were at a co-worker's house for a party. We had way too much trash can punch (hey, it WAS college days and we were poor) and she decided to go into his brother's room and lie down for a while. I wanted to leave but she refused. His brother was gone and we'd never met him. So I went with her and fell asleep (oh for the days I could sleep anywhere). A little while later I awoke to 4 men standing over us discussing which they would like to rape first and who was going to hold us down. I FLEW up and immediately got into a fighting stance ready to fight for my life, for my body. It's just who I was, I don't fly, I fight and have always been this way. I was certainly not going to leave my friend behind whom was still passed out cold because even in my drunken state it was obvious this would only leave her a victim. The men (one being my co-worker's brother) began yelling and told me to leave thankfully rather than attack. I literally drug my friend out of there and left.
I am so thankful that this night ended the way it did. Not only did it teach me a VERY valuable lesson but it ended with us safe and it could have ended much, MUCH differently.
Ok so let's get to the nitty gritty. In NO WAY will I EVER condone rape in ANY fashion or form. Once a man, or woman make and follow through with that decision it is their own and one they must be accountable for. And I am so, so sorry for those whom have suffered this horrible action. I pray you find peace, and wholeness within yourselves knowing you are amazing and beautiful and did not deserve this act upon you. I hope they paid for their actions towards you and that you always feel safe in your life.
HOWEVER!!! Had that night ended differently would I have had to come to a conclusion at some point in my life that my own actions had brought me to that point of possibility? Yes. I would have. To be clear again, my own actions would have had NOTHING to do with the actual rape or their decision to do so. BUT, my own actions put me in a place to be vulnerable to these 4 men. My own actions made stupid decisions to drink too much and do some illegal drugs which impaired my judgment as well. My own actions left me in a room whose owner I didn't even know, much less attempt to trust. My own actions left the door open for consequence and it's only by a miracle that I didn't have to suffer that consequence like so many others have unfortunately had too.
Ok, so I know my story is different than many and I also want to say that I know there are many times that the woman had absolutely NO part or responsibility in what happened to them. But there are times, like mine, when we have to stand up and say....
---"I should not show EVERY SINGLE PART of my body and then expect a man not to be turned on by it"-note I said turned on because no this doesn't give them permission to rape, but it does turn the switch in that you are leaving your body vulnerable for others to see.
---"I should not put myself in scary situations or places especially with those I do not know well."
---"I should not drink in excess where my actions are impaired because it's leaving myself vulnerable to others to make decisions about me they aren't responsible for".
---"I am responsible for me, and I want to cherish and take care of me because I'm important".
Remember that old saying "You dress for the job that you want". So.....if you're dressing like they dressed in the Slut Walk, what does that tell society?
See, rather than trying to control their own actions so that they have absolutely no responsibility in the horrors that may fall on women, they are trying to control those around them. They are saying they can do what they want but you cannot. It's a society that says "what offends me is not ok but what offends you is....as long as I think it is".
So much. So much wrong with that type of thinking because, ladies, what if the men stood up and starting doing walks claiming their own sexuality and NEEDS were ok whether you thought they were or not?????!!!
So let's start thinking about what is best for society as a WHOLE, and not just our own selfish little worlds!! How can YOU better society? Oh, I dunno, maybe by not dressing so provocatively that you start teaching my young sons how to look at women with lust at the tender young ages of 9, and 11!
Oh don't worry, I'm doing my best to combat that by teaching them that this is not ok, that they need to avert their eyes because they should be kept for their future wives only, and that you should have more self esteem and esteem your own bodies higher and better to keep for those that love you more than anything. But you're making it REALLY DIFFICULT!!
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