They came in this order (this is important, I'll explain why) Ectopic, DNC, 3 miscarriages in a row.
Upon the third miscarriage within a year the doctor I went too was monitoring my blood HCG levels. Your HCG levels go up when you are pregnant because your baby needs this to survive. With each test my levels were going down, unusually slowly for some reason.
Well, this Dr decided he wanted things to be finalized rather than slowly as they go and wanted me to have a DNC again. For some reason I felt very strongly that my body was handling this naturally and that all would be ok. When I told him this he got angry. He said that he could declare me medically incompetent and have the police take me into the operating room against my will. He left us in the office to "choose" which route to take, willingly or against so. We left. I was so very angry. What nerve and what a horrible Dr!
We ended up moving about a month after that. We felt God calling us back to where I grew up and followed the call. It was a first for us in our marriage and we saw God working in our lives to bring us to him (not until later but he was definitely blessing us).
1.5 months after that horrible Dr appointment I found out I was pregnant. I was 4 weeks along (do the math in your pretty lil head...that means I got pregnant 2 weeks after the appt).
Quick insert- My body is deficient and does not produce HCG, Folic Acid, or Boitin as it is needed to sustain pregnancy. We found this out with my second miracle. This is the reason for my losses, or one of them. Having said that, let me make this clear. HAD we chosen to follow crazy Drs opinion my HCG level would have been 0. HAD we chosen his path my body would have never had enough HCG, Folate, or biotin to sustain him until I could get into the Dr.
God also provided in that I was considered high risk and the new Dr I found in my new town got me in immediately. My blood levels were all so very dangerously low and I risked losing him so they gave me immediate shots to raise levels and put me on supplements to make up for what my body did not produce.
Back to my point...
During my 8 week appointment they did a heartbeat monitor. They could not find the heartbeat.
My own heart stopped and I did everything I could to hold it together. It just so happened my husband was with me (I had just told him the week before). We said no words, but our eyes met and we saw the pain and knew what each were thinking. We just held hands and I tried so hard to hold it together, thankfully I did. Ok, maybe one little tear slipped by but it was quickly wiped away as the nurse brought in a sonogram machine. It was the "special" sonogram meant to see early pregnancies. She began looking, screen turned as they always do.
Holding my breath and then she giggled. What?! Why in the world would she....she turns the screen and says "you MUST look at this".
The screen turned and all of a sudden we see our baby. Not as we expected either. There he was. Just a lil alien looking thing, you could make out his body, and his arms and legs were but nubs still. The most striking thing?
HE. WAS. DANCING.
It was full frontal shot, his heartbeat bright as the sun, arm nubs and leg nubs raised out as if he was doing jumping jacks, and he bounced from one end of the sac to the other, wiggling and bouncing in this joyous dance.
We burst into laughter and fell in love immediately. Our child. He danced. And he was 8 weeks old.
Fetus? No. He was absolutely a baby although he had yet to form arms and legs (or if they were they weren't yet visible to us) and he exercised already, doing his job developing into an amazing human being...as we all do.
This was Charlie Brown. He is 9 TODAY. He's an amazing child. Always was.
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