You need to know something

I am SO thankful.

I'm thankful for my Endo that saved my life. I'm thankful for my husband and family. I'm so very thankful for my friends new and old. I'm thankful for this blog and the few brave souls whom read it. I'm even thankful for those that don't because, really, it's my diary.

I am not saying I'm "THERE" yet. But what I can tell you is I am close. For the first time in about 8 years I feel SEMI-NORMAL again. I feel like I'm me again, and I have some energy.

There was a time, many years ago my husband looked at me and said "I miss my wife" because for so long I was so sick and daily felt miserable. No one could tell this as my issues are not visible from the outside. But it affected my attitude. I knew it was and I felt so terribly guilty about it...but had no idea how to change it. I affected him and others around me, and I'm sorry for that. Still, no one knows exactly how bad I felt, exactly how week I was, or how tired with so many other symptoms you couldn't see. *I* didn't even realize how badly I felt to be honest with you. It happened so slowly over so many years that it sort of became my "normal". It's a tricky/sneaky thing these unseen diseases.

But now....Oh Praise the Lord for now. It's like my eyes have been opened or I've transformed from a Caterpillar into a Butterfly. All that pain, tiredness, weariness, etc...I can now be thankful for how I feel. I can now look back and Praise HIM I no longer feel that way (most days).

I am more thankful than ever. 

For my new found health - For the health I'm not even aware of yet (that which WILL come once meds are finally stable) - For those who stuck it out with me through all those bad years - For the lessons it's taught me AND my family (my boys are such caretakers now) - For a new chance at this life and living it to the fullest each day - For the lessons He has taught me through those health issues (and there are many).

The national symbol for those with Graves and Hashimotos Disease or even those that have had a Thyroidectomy is a Butterfly.
-The thyroid is the shape of a butterfly
-Often before proper treatment you are very sick, and once proper treatment happens you feel SO different, SO much better...as I do already. Therefore they've deemed both stages the Butterfly stages. You were a Caterpillar and now you've blossomed into a beautiful Butterfly. Often physically and mentally.

Did you know.....

That when a Caterpillar enters it's cocoon it goes into a sleep like state that is weary and weak. He shakes at times, and sleeps at others. Once he's ready to come out of the cocoon the fight is on. There is a tiny hole he makes but for some reason he only makes it impossibly small. Then he works and fights to get out of this hole. It's painful. He bleeds. He struggles. He squeezes himself and loses water and weight while trying to escape. Once he escapes he is fragile, his wings are brittle and crooked. BUT, with some time they straighten, dry, and connect. Once this happens he is beautiful and he can fly.

*Interesting Fact* 

If you "help" the Butterfly in his struggle by opening the hole where he doesn't have to struggle so much in getting out....he will NEVER be able to fly.
It is by God's design that he MUST struggle, bleed, go through that pain IN ORDER that he can fly when God is ready for him too.

Imagine what God must put us through in order for us to fly?!?!?!