Good information to know when adopting out of foster care, and the steps you have to take.
If you have any Indian Blood in you at all, make sure you have your blue card minimum first. If not, contact your local Child Welfare services and ask for more information.
You will have to go through the same classes and process as a foster parent as they have to certify you the same. It will look something like this (although varies by state).
1. So many training hours via their training classes (somewhere from 20-60 hours)
2. First Aid/CPR classes
3. TONS and TONS of paperwork, which is fairly invasive I must tell you.
4. Fingerprinting, background checks, etc
5. Homestudy, and interviews
(in the Home study your home has to pass inspection and state laws such as: covers on all outlets, fire extinguisher in kitchen, smoke alarms working, all pets vaccinations, etc)
6. Waiting and more waiting
7. and finally, you get a call on a child/children
So.
There are so many horror stories about children being taken away and there are a few things you can do to TRY to avoid these scenarios. TRY being the operative word here, because as I stated before, we are not always in control. But of the many stories I've heard there seems to be a few things that are the same in many of these cases. Things that are easily avoided. So, here's my humble advice...take it or leave it, I am certainly no expert. I have but a short experience with foster care and not even finished adopting yet. I know very little. This is just what I do know.
-The system is tricky, and not in your or the child's best interest. KNOW THIS, deep down without a doubt so that you do not get tricked by it. No, I didn't say the people in it are evil, they aren't. Just the system as a whole needs an overhaul. They are understaffed, overwhelmed, undervalued, overworked, and hardly allowed to take any measure they'd like too. Love your social worker, hate the system.
Once you know this then you can keep focused. See, too many ppl lose focus and then get tricked into believing something that is not true, and then get their hearts broken.
-STAY FOCUSED
-That phone call is an exciting one but words like "most likely will be taken from" or "chances are" are a HUGE red flag. If your goal is adoption only you should never consider a child whose rights have not already been terminated and/or given up by all relatives whom would consider adoption. Be sure to ask the question "are there ANY other relatives that would consider wanting this child"? If the answer is not clear and they do not have the paperwork to state so, don't consider the child/children.
Be aware that if a mother gives her rights over in many states she has 6 months to get her act together and change her mind. If she does within 6 months no questions are asked, baby is taken and given back to birth mother. Is this child past that 6 months?
Mother can give or have rights taken away, but has father or had the legal amount of time to respond and therefore state has declared his rights taken as well?
Best case scenario father is not on birth certificate but if he is, he'll have to have rights terminated or given away as well.
*Indian Child Welfare Act insert-Ask what the child's nationality is, and if there is any indian blood at all with either parent. If so, and you do not have indian blood this means you will not be able to finalize adoption. This is one reason you ask that paperwork is complete on both parents rights termination to make sure that neither has a loophole.
-Ask for paperwork stating that the state is also willing to release rights. It is their goal to find placement for all children but every now and then comes along a child that the state will not release rights on for one reason or another. Make sure this would not be the case.
-KNOW YOU MAY HAVE TO FIGHT
-Your asking all these questions sometimes makes more work for the social worker. They most likely will not appreciate this as they are overworked and overstressed already. But you have your family to think of here, and you have every right to know these things. Maybe get social worker a gift basket afterwards to thank her for her patience.
-Ask for the child's file in FULL!!!!
This is a big one. Often they will give you 5 papers with a picture of the child to look over. Sometimes they do not want you to see the entire file, or even want you to meet the child before seeing the file. NOWAY. You have every legal right to see the file in full before you agree to meet this child. Meeting the child before you are ready to say yes only hurts the child more by giving even more feelings of rejection. Seeing the entire file will give you an idea of where the child came from, what they've been thru, and what type of behavior they have as a result. Also any physical or medical issues they have.
-Ask to speak to the child's therapist if old enough to have been to therapy.
The therapist can tell you more than anyone what the child is like and what they are going thru, also give you an idea if they are ready for your home and would be a good fit. The therapist will know if the child likes to eat goldfish and therefore wouldn't be a good fit for your home with 8 goldfish tanks. They can get personal with you and honest as well.
PRAY PRAY PRAY.
You have the options to choose ages, sex, race, eye color, physical and mental disabilities, but you do not have the knowledge of the future. Only God does and he know's what is best. Pray he leads you into the right decision.
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