Lately I've been a ball of emotions, and when I say "ball" I really mean "bawl"...and I don't mean the normal D where I am feisty, firey, and raw. No. I mean like yesterday we were watching a Christmas movie and here I go crying again, then Scott looks at me and says "really?!" in a sarcastic voice, and I slap my hand on my lap saying "I have GOT to stop watching Christmas movies!!!" and then I'm laughing AND crying...at the same time....for about 10 minutes. sigh.
Ok so realistically it's much about my hormones and the fact that I'm not there yet where I need to be at the thyroid level. It can take up to a year to get to a Euthyroid state after Thyroid removal. Mostly I've been good, no anger, no depression, no overreacting on a mean level. I've been able to keep my calm...except when it comes to crying...especially when watching Christmas movies, or talking of our future child who is currently an orphan just waiting for a family to call theirs forever.
That one.
That one really get's me.
I was hoping to have him/her before Christmas so that they would not have to be alone or be an orphan thru yet another Holiday. We spent last Christmas knowing they might be out there waiting on us, but we had to wait in the process in order to get my health better. And so it is. And so this is the second Christmas we might be spending without him/her.
That's hard.
I keep telling Scott that it makes me so sad to think of him/her sitting there, singing sad Christmas songs out a window wishing for their family. He raises his eyebrow in that "I'm not going to tell you your crazy, but my eyebrow suggests that you know that I know it already" look. Ok fine. You want proof buster?! I'll give you proof.
And even this one. She's adopted you know.
I know it's all in God's perfect timing but I sure wish we could have him/her by Christmas and until then I guess I'm going to be a mess of emotions until I know he/she's safe in our arms...at home.
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