Having friends with health problems is hard, especially when you are just getting to know them or don't know them that well. They are hard to invest in because we don't know what they are going thru, they are hard to get to know because conversation seems strained at times, and they are hard because we cannot relate to them and at times it's hard because we tend to lean on our own understanding of things rather than learn about the things we do not understand.
An example would be THIS post where Charlie had to explain why he wore a patch and she came back to ask if he had his eyes dialated.
Why is it hard for us to simply ask if we do not understand? To learn what we do not know? Does it take more time to listen than it does to assume something that is not true? No, it doesn't but most ppl make the excuse of being too busy to learn. REALLY?! When did we stop loving friendships and hating each other?
How much more time would it have taken that lady to say "really, what is vision therapy"? And then I could have stepped in and explained how he has some vision issues and we are doing intensive therapy to correct those issues and then bragged at well he's doing with it. I know this wouldn't have taken longer than me checking out in front of her, and it would have served a purpose of her learning something new, AND me building up his self esteem rather than deflating it as she unintentionally did.
Do you know how many of his friends ask about his glasses or his vision therapy? None. But that's just kids for you, they accept whatever is put in front of them without question. This is a good thing because they don't assume something, they just play and listen and act like it's ok. Or sometimes new friends will ask "why are you wearing a pirate mask?"...much to the chagrin of their mothers. Mothers try to hush them but I'd rather they ask, it's OK to ask and to learn! Really, it is.
In fact I wish more ppl would ask and learn.
I look mad sometimes. Why? Many reasons
-extra weight on my face makes facial expressions difficult
-I have no eyebrows left, this makes you look mad automatically
-I have no memory, and concentration is very difficult as well. These are both side effects of my disease.
But MOSTLY..
-I'm freaking EXHAUSTED
It's hard for me to function every day. It's hard for me to play with my children. Can you imagine what learning about someone, engaging in conversation is like for me? Especially on biblical topics...mostly because I don't feel I know enough apologetics yet or even verse very well.
Engaging in conversation does lift my spirits though.
But it's also difficult because I have so many health problems that I'm sure ppl don't know what to say around me. They don't know if they should ask about it and they don't know if they should say anything. Plus they get tired of asking. I can be a lil needy I suppose. What sick person isn't?
I know it's easier to be there for someone you've known all your life or most of it because you love them but guess what?! Those having problems now that you don't know well....they need love too. And I need understanding and most of all, Grace.
I need alot of Grace. Because I'm a sinful person and I'm a sick person most days. I make mistakes and I have issues.
Life is not about choosing people who make it easier on you.
Life is about Listening. Learning. Loving ppl in spite of their faults.
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