We knew we had them, we knew our dog has been going CRAZY since we moved here trying to get one of the little suckers, we know they are vermin, we know they are eating bugs that are destroying our yard (which we will spray for this weekend), we know they make the land uneven and sometimes dangerous with their insidious trails of tunnels they build.
But, here's what we DIDN'T know:
We didn't know they were so small (about the size of my hand). We didn't know they were so helpless when out of their holes. We didn't know they sucked in when scared (like a baby trying to suckle milk), and that they calmed down when held in a blanket. And we didn't know that I'm a bleeding heart who wanted them gone but doesn't have the heart to kill them when brought to me by a very excited dog.
So Norman and I had an adventure. I buried him in some dirt in a box with some creatures he could munch on (he loved that) until nightfall. Then, my husband had the bright idea of letting the dog out back. Well, she dug in the box and got him again. Poor Norman. We thought our adventure was over. But it wasn't.
About midnight our dog brings him BACK to the porch..AGAIN.
So this bleeding heart puts him back into the box, grabs a shovel (you know, to start him a lil hole elsewhere), and throws them all in the back of the truck, drives to an open field with soft ground, digs him a lil hole, and releases him.
I'm only hoping that a stupid vermin had the better sense to stay away from my tires as I drove off....after the police officer stopped to inquire on me, and questioned me. Like it isn't normal for a woman to be out alone at midnight in a field with a shovel and a box, I mean really!
Oi VEY!
Some days I think my life would make a good sitcom. You know, the ones where you laugh at the family for how silly they are???!!!
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