Raising Men or Raising Boys?!

Yet another serious post and I apologize for my lack of fun attitude yet again. But, this post has been waiting for weeks now and, honestly, I just told my husband tonight how lax my guys are getting at helping and how I'm having to fight them on cleaning and need to get serious again. Summer break just isn't about doing everything we want and nothing we need so I need to hear this too. Again. It's a process, just like most things in my life. ;)

So often I see parents overwhelmed, frustrated at their husbands, at times even their children but overall just completely exhausted. I remember being this mom. The difference is, I was this mom when I had a 2 year old and a newborn, or a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Pretty much after that things started getting better.
Why? How?
Oh, well that answer is easy.

I'm NOT a maid! 

I refuse to crawl on my hands and knees and pick up after my children's messes all day long. I watch women do this everywhere I go. I don't get it. They HAVE HANDS AND FEET AND THUMBS made to pick things up!

Call me crazy. Call me a drill Sergeant. Call me what you will, it doesn't matter because my children are more responsible, and willing to help than theirs are. Evidence shows it works. And moreover, it's GOOD.

*rant warning*
WHY is it that we allow our boys, our children to not grow up, not be responsible, not help, not care, not be caretakers, not try, not have patience, not give of themselves, not give love, etc, etc, ETC!!!??
WHY is it ok that they get everything they want while we troll behind them like a maid befitting a king?!
WHY is it ok that we breed husbands whom expect more of their wives than is humanly possible and give nothing in return. WE are the beginning of ruined marriages, fellow mothers! WE teach them all these bad things and to be completely selfish, never to grow up, and only get married after they've "sown their seeds" but hopefully not seeded a womb?! This is not biblical!!
How wrong is this thinking! Yes, even you, the mainstream Christian mothers in the church who roll your eyes at this blog and huff to yourself that you are NOT like that. Yes, you really are.
I come across very few whom are diligently thinking of their sons future and what sort of men they are forming in their own households with daily chores, thoughts, lessons, character building, etc.
Very few whom have their future wives in mind, or grandchildren because they live in the here and now.
Well, the here and now with a servant attitude is hurting our children, I simply MUST tell you.
*end rant*

So, what makes me so much better? Oh, let me tell you none of this makes me better at all. I'm not the greatest mother and I do not pretend I am in any pretense. I do know, however, that my children will learn to be responsible adults and not expect everything given to them. I know this because I am working every day to make sure this becomes reality, by hook or crook! and some days it's crook, believe you me.

My boys do chores. Stay with me here, I'm not talking about the lil pick up your room chores (although they do this twice a day minimum). No. I'm talking about real chores, meaning they do most of the cleaning (there's two of them, one of me).

More specific? I thought you'd never ask.

Sweeping, mopping, feeding dog, watering dog, pooper scooping backyard, feeding cat, changing catbox, giving dog weekly bath, gather all laundry & put in laundry room, pick up each room, fold/hang their own laundry, dust, vacuum, wipe off table, sweep back patio, wipe off bathroom counters, wipe out tub, clean mirrors, clean sliding door glass, get clean clothes out of dryer and sort, help with dishes, feed fish.

Want to know how old they were when they began chores? 8 months old. Granted they did not/could not do all these things but at the very least they began picking up their own toys and we worked up from there.

The other argument I hear is "they don't do it good enough". REALLY?! Not only are you telling your children that them helping is not good enough, but your setting your standards too high! It's no wonder their wives often cannot be everything these men want.
What IS good enough?! So when my eldest dusts he doesn't get every single shelf. Well, that's why he dusts every day because at some point during the week he's eventually gotten them all. And then I might go around with the dust brush and get the high shelves or do a quick dusting once a week. Does this mean he didn't do good enough? No, it just means I'm getting things he couldn't but the thing is, I'm not making a big deal out of it. Never does he think I have to go over what he does, he thinks it's simply my turn.
And in all honesty we all three keep this house cleaner than I could on my own so saying they don't do it good enough is ridiculous. Plus, they get more detailed in their cleaning as they get older and begin to set their own standards.
And, I gotta tell you the stress level for a few dusty shelves is WORTH it!

We are a team, my children aren't slaves either. We all work together, and we get it done.
And one day, my daughter in laws will thank me.