We had Charlie Brown's 2nd evaluation today with the other place that we call the "expensive place".
Well, expensive or not this is THE place for him. This is the place where he will make it or break it baby!
Over the past few weeks I have faced many fears and doubts as a mother. Doubts in myself, others doubting in me, etc. It has not felt nice at all. You see, I am one of those mothers that researches everything. I know all the basics of what I'm talking about and I want the facts and bottom line. Don't mush it up, don't put candies and rainbows on it. Give me the truth and a plan on how to fix it. This doesn't always make others around me happy. But, you know what I realized this week? I've never been wrong. I've checked out offices or Drs that have not worked out for us to see if they would, but when it comes to diagnosing my kiddos, or telling a temperature with my lips to their temples, I'm spot on.
Does this sound arrogant? Not to me. Because it's not me of my own accordance being right. It's the intuition God has given me as their mother. It's Him working to make these children what HE wants them to be, not me.
I think for the first time in several YEARS I have had confidence in my decisions and thoughts towards his medical care. Not because I really have confidence in ME, but because I have learned to trust in GOD. I've learned that God is Sovereign and that He provided me all the wisdom and knowledge I will need to raise the children He's given me....and He'll take care of the rest.
He made me the way I am for a reason, and that is exactly what these boys need.
That is SUCH a good feeling to say, I have to tell you. There is so much peace in trusting my Adonai. In knowing that all will be ok and that we will make decisions best for our child when he's in need. I hope every mother has faith enough in God to have faith that he's made you well for your children.
For you, here's a verse.
Psalm 145:17-20 "Everything the Lord does is right. He is loyal to all he has made. The Lord is close to everyone who prays to him, to all who truly pray to him. He gives those who respects him what they want. He listens when they cry, and he saves them. The Lord protects everyone who loves him, but he will destroy the wicked."
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So, the facts:
He is developmentally delayed in every visual field but--get this--non verbal communication. HA! INTUITION!! --he gets this from me...er better said a hereditary trait given by God alone. :)
His eyes do not track, nor process on any profile (with the exception of the non verbal).
He is also Left ear dominant which means he has processing issues (it's complex).
The plan:
He will be going over the maximum amount of time, 48 weeks (norm is 36) twice a week for visual and processing therapy.
He will also be doing 20 minutes of tracking therapy at home PER day, EVERY day of the week (including weekends).
AND, eventually he will be doing 2 hours at home per day of Patching Therapy (this is where he wears an eyepatch over his GOOD eye in order to attempt to kick in his bad). THIS I'm not looking forward too, and expect great frustrations from.
And you know what broke my wall of tears? Later today, when taking the full amount his therapy is and dividing it by 12, it equals the exact same amount as our van payment was, before we sold it.
There. Right there God said "Trust me, I'm taking care of you now that you're making GOOD decisions".
Thank you Lord for being so faithful and teaching us so many wonderful lessons. In the bad, there is always good. Our boy will be healed, our will never broken.
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